Rebuilding Marriage After Infidelity Community Group
A community for those who have been through the heartbreak of infidelity and decided to stay with their partner and try to re-build the relationship.
So my H and I planned to go to his daughter's today (Sunday) to celebrate her birthday and our granddaughter's birthday. All went fairly well, until......
My H tells daughter that he’s taking tomorrow off. Oh, she says, Valentine's Day -how nice! He goes on to say that he’s been told that he better do something this Valentine's Day. I give him the evil eye and he says- well he's son is coming over to make homemade beer with him.
As we're driving home (it's almost a 2 hour drive) H starts asking if his daughter got her tubes tied after her last baby (now 2 months old). Again, not biggie, but then we starts talking about how women don't get their tubes tied any more -it's something else cuz he overheard the ladies at his work talking about. While we're talking about it - it just poops into my head: What kind of birth control did he use with OW? SO I asked "Did she have her tubes tied?"He says "I don't know". "Then," I said "what kind of protection did you use?" He says"Aw...fuck! Not this again!" I said, "If you just answered the question, it wouldn't have to be addressed again." "Condoms", he said. I said "there, wasn't that easy? Now it won’t be asked again the future. I know the answer." I don't believe him -I actually think they used nothing. But then it got me to thinking about his remark about Valentine’s Day and I said “I wish you wouldn't make it out that you've been made to do something for this Valentine's Day" and he said "Well, you did. You told me I had to do something." And I said "So, did you want me to tell your kids right then & there why I expected you to do something this year? Why do you have to make it look like I'm this materialistic girl, when you know why?" If it's not something you wanted to do, then I certainly won't appreciate your efforts".
He paused, and said that he was actually excited about giving me his present because he put a lot of thought into it.
I don't know what I want to get from even posting it. I don't know if I'm mad, if I just should let it roll or what. I just know that I wanted to get it off my chest.
My H tells daughter that he’s taking tomorrow off. Oh, she says, Valentine's Day -how nice! He goes on to say that he’s been told that he better do something this Valentine's Day. I give him the evil eye and he says- well he's son is coming over to make homemade beer with him.
As we're driving home (it's almost a 2 hour drive) H starts asking if his daughter got her tubes tied after her last baby (now 2 months old). Again, not biggie, but then we starts talking about how women don't get their tubes tied any more -it's something else cuz he overheard the ladies at his work talking about. While we're talking about it - it just poops into my head: What kind of birth control did he use with OW? SO I asked "Did she have her tubes tied?"He says "I don't know". "Then," I said "what kind of protection did you use?" He says"Aw...fuck! Not this again!" I said, "If you just answered the question, it wouldn't have to be addressed again." "Condoms", he said. I said "there, wasn't that easy? Now it won’t be asked again the future. I know the answer." I don't believe him -I actually think they used nothing. But then it got me to thinking about his remark about Valentine’s Day and I said “I wish you wouldn't make it out that you've been made to do something for this Valentine's Day" and he said "Well, you did. You told me I had to do something." And I said "So, did you want me to tell your kids right then & there why I expected you to do something this year? Why do you have to make it look like I'm this materialistic girl, when you know why?" If it's not something you wanted to do, then I certainly won't appreciate your efforts".
He paused, and said that he was actually excited about giving me his present because he put a lot of thought into it.
I don't know what I want to get from even posting it. I don't know if I'm mad, if I just should let it roll or what. I just know that I wanted to get it off my chest.
-
I gave my 2 week notice last Friday 13th. Now to join you fine people in a life of leisure and nothing else to do but to look out for myself....is it just me or does that sound pretty boring? My goal was to live to retire and I guess having to take early retirement because of health reasons wasn't exactly the way I had planned things. I just can't stay in that building that is reeking mildew...
-
I'm trying to exercise daily. I was doing fairly well until I sprained my ankle 2 weeks ago but now I'm getting back on the horse. Today I walked over a mile with my arm weights that are about 22lbs total. I was out of shape and it was hard on my arms. I also did my 30 situps. I'm also going to drink a lot of water and try to eat healthy. I do tend to have a sweet tooth but I'm cutting...
I usually think about what I say before I say it and my H really doesn't. I think sometimes (most of the time) he just says what he is thinking and half way through realizes it's stupid and tries to correct it but it's too late. Maybe your H was thinking I was told I better do something this year because I did something really stupid, but when he started saying it he realized what he was saying and didn't want to have to explain so he left at he had to do something. I could be completely wrong, I just know my H does that.
This is the second Valentine's day since he came back, but it's not really that much better than last year. I flat out told him yesterday I didn't want us to do anything. He brought me some flowers anyway, but he did it last night and said, "This isn't for Valentine's day, it's just because I love you." I bought him a nice new hoodie the other day while shopping. That's about as far as I wanted to go with it. I want a more sensitive husband a bazillion times more than a bouquet of flowers that will die in a few days. But that just ain't gonna happen!