This weekend was absolutely beautiful. For the first time in a very long time, we had a family weekend. We didn't shuffle the kids off the the grand-parents while we disappeared to some remote getaway, or threw ourselves into a bar/nightclub. Instead, we took the kids to the circus, to church, did yard work, cleaned the house. All this sounds simple, but to us, it's hasn't been. I saw my wife honestly smiling for the first time in a long time this weekend. She looks at me with love, and actually is professing this love for the first time in ages. This is a different admission, not the routine, well rehearsed I Love You that she claims she's felt for quite some time. So why am I writing this message? Simply put, I'm a little depressed. After such an intimate weekend where I know we went a long way towards rebuilding, I left her with a kiss, and I Love You, and went off to work. While driving, and while at my desk writing this, I keep being assaulted with the thoughts of what she's done. It hurts so bad. I jut yearn for the time when I can get through a day without these painful thoughts. I know we have another chance, and as soon as I get home, everything will feel alright, but in the meantime, how do you deal with such negative thoughts when all that is truly in my heart is undying love?
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