Just a small thought that's been eating at me lately. As I sit and read the postings on the different forums, I see the pain and destruction that simple infidelity causes. In my particular case, I have the added devastation of a sickness, an addiction, and 4 different affairs fueled by these problems and a character flaw. That being said, I am engaged in fixing my marriage, and do truly still love my wife. We will make it. That being said, I am beginning to struggle with the thoughts that I must be a pathetic man to overlook such atrocities and welcome my wife back into the comforts of marriage. It's almost like there's another me sitting beside me saying, "dude what the hell?" I know that for every logical reason, I should have kicked her to the curb, she even admits it. I don't have those feelings inside me right now and that kind of scares me. Am I broken? Co-dependent beyond belief, or just plain in love and not wanting the end of 12 years? I know I will do just fine if forced to, but right now my heart just doesn't want to. It's really a sick little mind game. I guess it could still be shock, but it really feels like we're rebuilding the foundations of our marriage, yet I still get smacked with the reality of the number of affairs, the lies, the deception, and it questions my inner fabric. Perhaps it's because my wife's actions came with a note from a doctor saying she's broken, and an addict and that is playing on my heartstrings of "in sickness and in health". Sorry for blabbing on, just wondering..
Posts You May Be Interested In
I miss traveling with my husband. Has anyone found a specific site regarding cruising for widow/widowers or any sightseeing trips. Not interested in being with couples and kids,,,I realize a cruise ship will have a portion size of families and couples, but perhaps they also put together a part of the cruise ship for groups of widows/widowers????
A friend sent this to me..As far as I can see, grief will never truly end.It may become softer overtime, more gentleand some days will feel sharp.But grief will last as long as Love does - ForeverIt's simply the way the absence of your loved onemanifests in your heart. A deep longing accompaniedby the deepest Love some days. The heavy fog mayreturn and the next day, it may recede.Once again, it's...