if you are raped...l would say never your fault...x one except...if you allow your to get SOOOOOOOOO drunk..then a tiny bit your fault for not being safe but still he/they shouldn't have taken advantage of youxxlyndax

It is NEVER EVER EVER YOUR FAULT! The blame firmly lies in the hands of your attacker X X

you are upset my my reply ...sorry...this is the repl l sent back to you.


why...if you put your self in danger by being "pissed" out of your mind...you are putting your self in a dangerous position to be taken advantage of. Read my reply again and you will see that is what l said. As a rape survivor myself...l am very sensitive to this question.

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On 12/08/07, 08:36am NikiT wrote:
Considering your a counsellor I am incredibly disappointed and dismayed at your response to the question, "is it my fault"?!?

it is never, ever your fault.
it is the rapist's fault. he/she has the problem.

you have the right to dress how you want to dress, drink whatever you want to drink and how ever much of it you want to drink, you have the right to kiss anyone, and even to mess around with them a little. you could have done everything but sex, and then said no to sex. and if he still went for it, it is rape.
i believe guilt and self-blame is something that some rape survivors struggle with the most, and i hope that you accept quickly that you are not the one with the problem, he is, and you should not place any of the blame on yourself. you did nothing wrong. please do not listen to anyone that tells you otherwise.
take care.

l am sorry u are upset. If you are drunk because of something in your drink then that is different. But these days of binge drinking you have to take care of your self that is all l am saying. consequences..need to be thought about..sorry. Yes l am a counsellor and a rape survivor and rape counsellor so l think l have a fair view on the whole story.lynda..please talk to me if you feel you need to talk morex

I was NOT drunk. If you two have issues then please start a new post or talk directly to each other. When I see that I have a new post here I FULLY expect to see something relating to MY post. NOT some issue the two of you have.

sorry have sent you messagex

its never your fault xx

It's the rapist's fault, that simple.
The way you dress or behave makes *no* difference - after all, we know that it happens to very young children as well as women in their eighties, would you say any of them had "asked for it"?
I've got friends (both male and female) who flirt and joke with me all the time, but I'm not going to read that as a serious invitation. Rape is about power, not about being 'invited' anywhere.

Rape is never the victims fault. I don't care if I was walking down the street buck ass naked with a bottle of whiskey in my hand it doesn't give anyone permission to sexually assult me. Not saying that would ever do that but it's the point to be made. NO is NO!! Unwanted sexual activity forced upon you is rape regardless of your mental or physical state. I think those men that take advantage of a drunk woman to be even worse than a serial rapist. They have taken advantage of an obviously impaired person. At least a serial rapist has the balls to boneup and play the power game with someone with fighting power in them.

Rape is rape and its NEVER !!
the fault of the VICTIM !!
A rapist who rapes someone who is drunk is someone who thinks they can get away with it easier, and will rape someone just as quickly if the victim is sober.
Never ever is it the fault of the victim.

If you are raped it's not your fault. You should be able to dress they way you want. Yes you can given flit and tease. No one deserves to be rape. Rape is NEVER ok. You said no. NO means NO.

I'm throwing in my vote for it's NEVER EVER the victim's fault. No one should have to count on the idea that there's some sicko out there waiting to attack people, that's just not fair.

it is never ever ever your fault!! no matter what u do it is always the attackers fault. even if you tease and then say no then the other person still has to stop even if they dont want to. the attacker is always the one to blame.

I don't consider rape to ever been your fault regardless if you get tipsy or even drunk. Granted being careful is always essential. As a woman you should be able to dress anyway you want and go out and have a good time and not worry about getting raped by someone. I don't find rape to be anyone's fault. I don't see how you could put yourself in that situation unless you can read that person's mind.