i never told anyone but i feel they will react in the same way. my house mate knows but has sort of dismissed it as unimportant, my mate at college knows but shes not taken it seriously. cant they see my pain?

I cant imagine how hard it is for people to dismiss and deny your suffering like that - I am grateful that thus far no-one has disbelieved me, but people are very dismissive and adopt an attitude of "ok it happened, now get over it" and I've come to think it's because they can't comprehend the impact that this has on a person, they have no point of reference, they don't know what to do and they don't want to really think about such things happening and so they jump to the defense of dismissal or denial - now none of that is to excuse them because it is insensitive and just plain wrong but I guess in a way I have given up hoping that I will find anyone who really understand or comprehends or supports the way I want unless they have been where I am.......I don't know if any of this helps at all but know that I don't doubt you at all and you will find support here.

I never told any of the women that I am close to - friendship wise - until three years ago. I went with them to Big Bear - women's retreat -for women, by women and only women could attend. It was after lunch that I went back to the cabin to get my notebook etc. One of my friends stayed there since she didn't feel good. I got to talking to her and then everything came out - me being raped by my ex-fiancee/boyfriend etc. I was hiding it inside that I was glad that it came out. I tried going to a counselor in Long Beach - Christian one to no avail. In Jan. of this coming year, I am going to start seeing a counselor again. I feel that there is much more to come out.

My rape was 8 years ago, but at the time, I did have something similar to deal with. I was date raped by someone in my large group of friends at the time. After it happened, he told everyone we just had "bad sex." Only those closest to me believed me, and even so, my best friend blew it off because he said he had "warned me something bad would happen" if I spent time around the guy who did it. Its very painful, and it makes you doubt yourself and everyone else around you. I'm so sorry you have to deal with this as well.

Find another therapist! If you're going to get past this and move on, you need a counsellor or therapist who actually believes you.
Other people probably will seem like they're in denial or minimising what happened to you, I've had the same thing myself with certain 'friends' who I now keep my distance from. Probably not their fault, they just don't know how to handle it, but at the same time it's their problem and I don't have to deal with that.

I don't understand why people would think anyone would lie about this...it drives me crazy. Alot of people thought I was lying for a long time, including my parents, but I think most people believe it now. My friend says it's because it's easier for them to accept that you're a liar than that you were raped.

I am going through similar things right now too. The only thing I can do is remind myself that its probably really hard for my friends to hear that someone they are close to, and someone that is our friend could do this to someone else in our group of friends, so instead of having to change their opinion of him, or who they hang out with, they dismiss me as a "liar" or that i just regret what happend that night so i called it something it wasn't. I think my parents are simalarly dealing with it, they don't want to think they "failed me" so instead they think i'm somehow wrong. I too had my first therapist tell me that it wasn't rape, so I stopped going and tried to convice myself I was ok with it because everyone says it wasn't rape, but when I still couldn't get past it I was going to a new therapist for other things and I mentioned it to her, then talked to her about it, and she helped me see that it really was rape, and that nothing anyone said or believed could change what really happened. I try to understand where all these people are coming from because I can believe it is really hard to hear that your friend/family is going through this, but people need to understand that however hard it is to hear about imagine how hard it is to actually have to go through. If someone is reaching out to tell you that they are hurting, instead of dismissing it people need to reach back and help

i think i might understand how you feel. the person i told said that i couldnt have been raped because it was by my boyfriend. why would we make it up?