If you or someone you know has been the victim of rape, this is the place to find support and get advice. If you want, discuss your experience, share your feelings, and meet others going through a similar situation.
Well let's see how this goes. I was sexually assaulted in my home with my wife upstairs assleep. I took some sleep medication and a couple drinks. I have been trouble sleeping. I know the two were a bad mix but I was in my home.
I fell asleep while watching the movie with a friend. I thought I had a dream where these disembodied hands were touching me all over. When I awoke the room was empty.
I went up to bed with my wife, and friend went to sleep in spare room.
The next morning I asked my wife if she had her way with me, and could have woken me to do so (in a joking manner). She said she didn't so I explained the strange dream, we both agreed that the friend would never have done that.
Later in the day it all just seemed wrong, and the person and my wife, and daughter were shopping together. I phoned her cell knowing my wife was there, and asked her, after several times asking and her avoiding she admitted to having done something to me in my sleep.
My wife quickly returned home, having not to have wanted to act her wishes with our daughter there. My wife then said I needed to confront her to know what happened and that I didn't want in my life ever again.
After several attempts I got her on the phone. She admitted to having intercourse with me, but that she stopped when she realized I was asleep. When asked why she started she said she thought it would be a great way for me to wake up... I have never had previous encounters with her, nor ever given consent.
So that day I went to the doctor for antibiotics, and blood tests.
I just got my first results of the HIV screen which was negetive, so know I wait for 6mths to do over.
Since then I have begun to cut myself. first my arm but then my kids asked about the marks, and they are young enough that they accepted the cat as the culprit.
But now it is my leg. They are getting deeper. The times I am doing it is when I am feeling pain, or nothing. The cutting creates pain, which means I am feeling something I can control. This has progressed to several times a day.
The doctor doubled my Celexa. Referral to psychiatrist, and I have tried with victim services, which has no support for men, crisis line refers me to victim services, so I have called mental health services.
My wife is a great support, but currently I am her greatest source of anxiety. I can't help her without heping me, and I am not sure how to do that. She has not condemmed me for cutting but does not understand it.
I would appreciate any thoughts suggestions, for me or my wife. She is my only friend here @ DS so far, so please talk to us.