You are not the same person you were a year ago, nobody ever is. You are however, you and that person is fantastic, intelligent and, strong. It sounds as if you have a therapist that didn't fit well with you, please try again it really does work. Please don't try to force yourself to feel what you don't. A year really isn't very long and you really shouldn't feel like you have to get over what happened. It was not your fault. I am glad you find this site, it has really helped me.

A year sounds like a long time but when you are healing it really isn't very long. The first year after my rape is mostly still a blur. It has been 2 1/2 years for me and I am just now starting to recover. I agree that your previous therapist was not a good fit for you. There are alot of good ones though and I think it does really help to see one. Try again. Your family is not always the best to talk to because thier feelings get in the way of listening. It is painful for them to think about someone hurting someone they love so they avoid it. I experience the same thing. You are doing wat you need to do by searching for other avenues to express yourself like coming to this site. Alot of us understand and are happy to listen. Have a great thanksgiving and try to be thankful for all the good things you do have!

Sorry to hear about the appalling counsellor - is there a local rape counselling centre or similar that could offer free help?

There's no gold standard for being 'over it', and no-one else can tell you how long it should take either - but at least if you can find a proper counsellor (i.e. not the kind you've described above) you've got somewhere safe and non-judgmental to go where you can think and feel whatever you damn well like - and they're not going to get upset or embarrassed about whatever you say.
Hope this is some help.

A year is nothing. I was raped 12 years ago and I have only came out of shock 2 years ago. I am still dealing with it today and I believe it's because I have never taked about it before I found this site 4 days ago.
This site has made me consider about getting professional help which is something I have REFUSED to even think about before.
You've been very brave to have gotten to the point of telling loved ones and seeing help and have encouraged me to do the same.
Stay strong

x

A person never "gets over" being raped, if your lucky you learn to live with what happened. You need to find a better therapist, and you need to forgive yourself. Its not your fault you got raped, not your fault about your first councelor, and not your fault that your family doesn't know what to do. You family is in shock too. You can do this, you can make it. try to find a victims advocate in the area, they will know avout councellors and support groups. Best Wishes

You are a rape victim. Being a "victim of rape" is one of the most horrendous crimes there is. You would be a rarity if you returned to your "old self" and returned to life as you knew it within a year. NO, you should not be over it. If you thought you were, THEN I would worry. To me that would mean you were suppressing it. As for family, oh gosh, even though it's been 23 years ago, my mother STILL refuses to talk about it. She likes to pretend it never happened to me.

No dah'lin............ one year is not enough time. And you won't emerge as the "self" you once knew. You will emerge a new person. A person with more strength and courage than the last one.

There is no time limit.......... but you'll know when that lightswitch turns on!!

it happened to me years ago. ive managed to block it away from my memories as a defense mechanism. ive changed a lot ever since the memories started coming back. I don't recognize myself anymore. I don't know myself any more. This...all of this...it's not like a cold that you can get over in time. Niether is it like a wound that can heal after a while. You just...gotta learn to live with it i guess. take your time on this. you have got to take it easy on yourself.
best of luck to you.