Rape Support Group

If you or someone you know has been the victim of rape, this is the place to find support and get advice. If you want, discuss your experience, share your feelings, and meet others going through a similar situation.

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wats wrong with me...

deleted_user
deleted_user
I sometimes think i must have a big sign on my head that says "TAKE ADVANTAGE OF ME" since i was raped i hav been approached in t street by various weirdos wanting to do weird things to me. Last week walkin home from college some random man grabbed my arm, oulled me down a side road pinned me againse the wall, and started touchin me an tryn 2 get his hands down my trousers. I just froze all i cud think was... "its gona happen again... i'm gonna be raped" luckly some guys whos on my course saw wat was happenin an came an got him of me they were havin a bit of a scuffle an i just ran and ran and ran as far away as i cud. I told my b/f last night an hes really mad that he wasnt there 2 help me, but im mad, i should have been able 2 stop him, i always told myself that if there was eva a nxt time i wud fight back!! i was also mad because i told myself it was neva gonna happen again and that i was ok.... an look @ me now, i'm a quiverin wreck that cant stand up 4 herself. sorry this seems like a bit of a ramble but i jus dnt get why I got picked out... more than once, theres gotta b summit wrong wid me!!
deleted_user
deleted_user
there is nothing wrong with you! what you are feeling is totally natural after what you have been through.
deleted_user
deleted_user
no there is nothing wrong with u creeps like that , would choose anyone. And i froze everytime it happened even know i told myself i would fight back , but i couldnt.
Shai
Shai
same here. i freeze up...i was once told that if you're being attacked, it's safer NOT to fight back. kinda scary...

i've told myself over and over again that it'd never happen to me. it was like the whole saying "lightning never strikes twice in the same spot"...i guess someone proved that saying to be wrong, and someone proved to me that i was wrong for thinking it...because it happened to me multiple times.

it is frustrating when i think i'm strong enough and then, when put in the situation, i freeze up, my mind goes blank...

EVERY DAY, i think that something MUST be wrong with me. it keeps happening...but i'm trying not to be so hard on myself...it doesn't help my anxiety or my depression. i've lived two years STRAIGHT without being "abused"...i think i'm doing pretty good so far.

keep your chin up. =) we're all here for you...
deleted_user
deleted_user
There is nothing wrong with you. You are in a head space right now where you can't see that and you think it is always your fault and will always be your fault. But that is so not true. They are the ones who are totally at blame not you. I am so glad you were able to tell your boyfriend, that is such a positive thing. Do you think you could make an appointment with your doctor and get help for your anxiety attacks? That might really help you get perspective, it did for me. How about some self defense classes or kick boxing or something like that? Give yourself a little boost. I am not saying you should be taking this as me saying you should go and beat the snot out of the next guy that looks at you but something that could give you a little confidence might not hurt. Good luck. There are lots of people here you can talk to whenever you need too.
deleted_user
deleted_user
If you reacted any other way, you wouldn't be human. Some of us get aggressive when scared, while others freeze. There isn't a right or wrong, just know that it's not unusual to freeze when scared.
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