Rape Support Group

If you or someone you know has been the victim of rape, this is the place to find support and get advice. If you want, discuss your experience, share your feelings, and meet others going through a similar situation.

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was it really rape?

deleted_user
deleted_user
I have a question; I fight with this a lot. I have never told me story to anyone, I have told bits and pieces but it is like sometimes I cant remember and other times it all real again. I still blame myself, I wondering if I am just overreacting, and was it really rape? He was a friend, he wanted more then to be just friends, I went to talk and I told him before I went over it was just to talk The next thing I know he was having sex with me, it was so serial, I didnt know what was going on, I was in such shock I couldnt speak. When I finally got my voice back I told him to stop, that I didnt want this, and he stopped. So, if he stopped when I told him to, is it still rape? I never wanted to sleep with him, it hurt so badly, but technically when I told him to stop he did. This is where I am confused. Was it rape?
deleted_user
deleted_user
If you did not consent to having sex in the first place, it is technically rape. The fact that he stopped when you got your brain back does not take away the fact that he did NOT obtain your permission PRIOR to having sex with you.
jenmarie410
jenmarie410
you've got to try to fill in the blank between, "I went over to talk" and "the next thing I know he was having sex with me..." If you have trouble remembering your mind may have blocked it out bc it was rape and it was traumatic. Funny how our brains can do this to protect us... I'm not sure how to respond to this...anyway, if you need to chat, I'm here! ((hugs))
jenmarie410
jenmarie410
Good answer StubbornSurvivor! ;)
deleted_user
deleted_user
I was taken advantage by a therapist who crossed the line. Gained my trust...and I always blame myself too. In a way I was so needy and wondered if I asked for it. And yet..in a situation where I paid for services...professionally...in therapy..well...there is no excuse. But I still blame myself or wonder if i brought it on. I ask myself if I asked for it. So..I think what jemarie says is true. WE somehow black out...and can't remember exactly. It's because it seemed so wrong or like you said..."serial"...
Hang in there.. we are all a bit confused by men who cross boundaries that were never meant to be crossed.
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