Rape Support Group
If you or someone you know has been the victim of rape, this is the place to find support and get advice. If you want, discuss your experience, share your feelings, and meet others going through a similar situation.
So last night me and my partner were chatting and he said he would wake me up at 3am. I told him no chance, I'm knackered and sleeping like a log.
He winked and said suggestively "oh i'll wake you up". This put my back up, so i asked what he meant.
He said.......... "i'm gonna put it between your legs". I felt sick. and i FREAKED.
No really, i went so mad. I told him that was disgusting. He told me i was overreacting, that i would like it because i know it was him doing it, and that i was his woman so he was going to do it anyway because he knows i'd like it, and its NORMAL.
I'm so upset about this, ive told him not to bother because if he does i'll get straight up and walk out - and i wouldn't be back except for my stuff.
You would think that the one person who knows everything ive been through, that i was gang raped, beaten unconcious and when i regained conciousness i woke to find someone still on top of me, raping me. The one person that knows i get flashbacks at night. The one person who nows how hard it was for me to have sex in the first place, and im still finding it hard.
Guys are so fucking insensitive. What do you guys think, am i overreacting??? If i wasn't raped and was able to have a normal sex life, would this be something i enjoyed???
He winked and said suggestively "oh i'll wake you up". This put my back up, so i asked what he meant.
He said.......... "i'm gonna put it between your legs". I felt sick. and i FREAKED.
No really, i went so mad. I told him that was disgusting. He told me i was overreacting, that i would like it because i know it was him doing it, and that i was his woman so he was going to do it anyway because he knows i'd like it, and its NORMAL.
I'm so upset about this, ive told him not to bother because if he does i'll get straight up and walk out - and i wouldn't be back except for my stuff.
You would think that the one person who knows everything ive been through, that i was gang raped, beaten unconcious and when i regained conciousness i woke to find someone still on top of me, raping me. The one person that knows i get flashbacks at night. The one person who nows how hard it was for me to have sex in the first place, and im still finding it hard.
Guys are so fucking insensitive. What do you guys think, am i overreacting??? If i wasn't raped and was able to have a normal sex life, would this be something i enjoyed???
-
theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
-
I'm trying to exercise daily. I was doing fairly well until I sprained my ankle 2 weeks ago but now I'm getting back on the horse. Today I walked over a mile with my arm weights that are about 22lbs total. I was out of shape and it was hard on my arms. I also did my 30 situps. I'm also going to drink a lot of water and try to eat healthy. I do tend to have a sweet tooth but I'm cutting...
Also, there is the 'Cosmo' effect. Being woken up with sex is/has been one of what certain magazines (woman's and men's) say is a top fantasy for a woman (and a man). But, as you reference above, they aren't considering we who have had sexual trauma in our lives. So, yes, according to the self-proclaimend "experts" out there, they do say it is something you would enjoy. But, again, they are not taking individual histories in to account.
Guys, to a certain degree, are insensitive when it comes to sex (and other things). But, sometimes being a little selfish comes off as being insensitive, and usually it is.
That being said, NO you did not over-react. It is impossible for you to overreact in this situation...you were a victim of sexual violence, and if something, especially this, reminds you of that violence, or is a trigger for you, no way should it be considered by your guy. You could always ask him if he would like you to penetrate him to wake him up. That might give him about a millionth of the shock you get when fearing that may happen to you.
As for the fantasy thing, well, I probably shouldn't be saying this but I *have* in the past enjoyed being woken up to an orgasm, not through full sex but, erm, other means ......... that was way back in pre-history though, I don't think I could cope with it now.