Since grade 10 I have been raped over 10 times less then 20 by 3 so 17...yay math(sorry trying to calm myself down through pathetic humor) The embarrassing part is since then if I tried to masturbate I ALWAYS cry I have had sex since then and for the most part I was fine there's the occasional breakdown I guess what I am asking and please forgive me if its rude or vulgar does anybody else seem to be this way, I honestly don't know if I am even posting in the right place, am I crazy am I fucked up its been I think over a year since the last one I just did it right now and it started up my suicidal tendencies... but im at my boyfriends house and hes at work and I don't want him coming home to this hes stressed enough..can some one please just tell me is this too weird or something I can do to calm down....im sorry this is so disorganized and messy im kinda having a panic attack here
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