
Rape Support Group
If you or someone you know has been the victim of rape, this is the place to find support and get advice. If you want, discuss your experience, share your feelings, and meet others going through a similar situation.

deleted_user
I'm 27 and I was assaulted when I was 17. I recently saw my attacker and he recognized me. It also turns out that he lives 5 min away from me. Anyway, since he attacked me, I've never been able to be with anyone or allow anyone to get near me especially...down there. But now, I have a problem. I've never been with anyone and I've never been to a GYN but lately I've been having scary bleeding and severe pain. I talked to my primary and she knows what happened. She says that she can do the pelvic/pap test and that she won't hurt me--or that I can choose a GYN. But the truth is that I'm terrified to death of anyone touching me or even seeing me down there. I'm also afraid because since I've never been with anyone, sexually, that it's going to excrutiatingly painful. I know that I have to go but the last time a dr tried examining me, even though I didn't want to, I almost passed out bcuz I had a severe panic attack. I know that I have to do something, but how can I? What do I do? I'm so scared that there's something really wrong.
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(and to ease your mind a little...it isnt painful, just uncomfortable because of the situation)
since your doctor is aware of what you have been thru you may be able to ask for something to calm your nerves while you are there (maybe they can prescribe you something)
I know when I go (except when I was pregnant) I have to take something...because it feels like my skin is crawling and I want to jump off the table and beat the sh%# out of them...and then run and hide....its not pretty!!!
it sucks knowing that they have the ability to affect our lives this way
I just had my exam on Friday past and i'm 31 and was a virgin before my R--- almost 1 1/2yrs ago. It was stressful everyday leading up to it. It helped to have a woman DR.
Here's 3 things I definately suggest:
1. Treat yourself to a massage (preferably before the appointment even if it's a short one. Sooo relaxing...this well help to prepare you mentally for when you start to get tense)
2. Listen to soft classical music the whole night before and all the time while your waiting to be seen (a great CD: The Most Relaxing Classical Album In the World...Ever Vols.1 &2) ***Take a CD player, iPod, MP3 or whatever you have with you to the appointment and keep the music going..even after they call you in...and make sure the Dr. explains everything she's doing and to allow you a breather if you need it.
... and tell her to "Be Gentle"!
3. Take A Long Hot Bath --If you don't have time for a massage then do a bubble bath w/out the bubbles and perfumes (just use candles for the ambiance until after the exam) .....I took a long relaxing bath that morning before my appointment (it did help me to calm down a little and get mentally prepared to relax...when the exam was going on I just closed my eyes and pictured that relaxing bath I took and imagined taking another when I got home only this time I was pouring in the extra smell goods!)
4. Take a Mini Mental Vacation -- While the exam is going on...think of your favorite sight or view (like the Beach or Mountains) then Think of your favorite classical music piece. When you start to feel stressed close you eyes and imagine your watching your favorite view and listening to your favorite classical song and breathe in deep ...when you exhale pretend your blowing out the stress and tension.
this really works! At least it did for me...
I wish you the best!