So I seem to be strangely obsessed with the man who r***d me. I was wondering if anyone else ever felt the same way. For instance, I constantly look the vile creature up on the internet because he is currently facing charges for indecency and money laundering (completely unrelated to the horrible thing he did to me). For some reason I'm obsessed. While searching for information about him the other day, I learned that he and his pathetic excuse for a human being friend run an asphalt business out of the house in which he violated me. The site for the business had a phone number, and I could barely control the urge to call. I wanted to hear his voice. I didn't want to talk to him, I just wanted to hear him. I think I thought it would make me feel less crazy, like I would know he really exists and it really happened. Also, I find myself having very vivid daydreams about awful things I want to do to him. My daydreams go so far as to logistically work out how I could make these terrible things happen to him. I hate him. I hate that he so often creeps into my thoughts. He disrupts everyday of my life. The really terrible part is, he probably never even thinks about what he did. He probably doesn't even remember my name. My whole existence has been thrown off and he probably sleeps like a baby every night. It's not fair and he should have to pay, but I fear he never will. Does anyone else ever have crazy urges like my near-phone experience? Does anyone else fantasize about exacting revenge on their r**ist? I sincerely hope I'm not alone in this. If anyone has any tips for getting past these feelings, I would really appreciate hearing them.