Gosh, that's so tough. Did you become pregnant with your son as a result of the attack?

yup

Is there a lawyer or someone at a rape crisis center that can let you know what legal recourse you have while ensuring that your son is protected from his sperm doner (men like him are NOT fathers)

not that I know of

Oh boy............ here's a good question. I don't know your story. You were attacked by your son's father and your son was the product of the attack, but you're not sure?

OK.......... going to go on the fact that your attacker is your son's father. My daughter is 23. She is not the product of a rape. I loved her father very much, but I was violently raped by a stranger when I was 6 weeks pregnant with her. My fiance and I had our wedding planned, etc. Three months after the rape, my fiance could not cope with the rape and we went our separate ways. I was left to deal with the trauma of the rape, being alone, losing my soul mate, and having and raising a child alone.

I will say for the first 14 years, I had nothing to do with my daughter's father. She used to call him the "sperm donor" as she never knew him. I made it a point to never talk badly about her father, etc., as I never knew what the future would hold. I didn't want any untruths told by him as she became an adult. I didn't want her to later want a relationship with her biological father and there be bad feelings.

No he was not my rapist, but he hurt me more than the act of the rape itself, I think. My life was planned, we were to be married, we had to return wedding gifts, I still have the beautiful wedding gown that I've never had the heart to get rid of. I've never even came close to remarrying since then. I know that I will never love another man as I loved him and he left me at the time that I needed him the most.

So I guess the moral of the story is to step lightly. Your son's father might be your attacker, but you do not know what the future holds. When my daughter was 14, she came to me and said she wanted to take her father to court for child support. This sort of surprised me, but I wondered if it was a way of finally meeting him or whatever. She met her father for the first time in a courtroom when she was 14 years old. She is now 23. It has taken 9 years for them to slowly gain a relationship but within the last 3 mos it has gained speed. I'm having a hard time with it, but she doesn't know it. She's MINE............. I raised her into a beautiful intelligent young lady, but I'm thrilled for her that she is starting to feel like part of their family. He is now married and has two children just a few years younger than her.

But I am so glad that I did not trash him or say awful things about him. Put the blame on him for leaving me, etc. I think I could lose my daughter now to him if I had done that. I stayed very neutral about my thoughts towards him throughout her childhood. I was very careful of how I answered questions and never answered them in a negative way.

Should your attacker/father of your son have visitation to your son, etc? I guess I would need to know more detail about him, etc.

But as far as your son, I would step very very lightly with your attitude towards his father, attacker or not, as you never know what the future will hold. JMO

I'd say your son really doesn't need a rapist as a father! I know it's tough being a single parent, but kids need to see that mum's in control of her life and coping OK much more than they need some fortnightly contact with a bad 'father figure'.
As he gets older he's going to find his own mentors anyway, the people he can look up to and inspire him - surely that's going to be much better for him?

when my fiance (second child) was born, his father "suddenly realized" that he wasn't ready to be a father, got up, and left him, his one and a half year old brother, and their mom.

his mom never bashed the father for what he'd done, never spoke badly of him. my fiance doesn't want to have anything to do with his father. he doesn't want his father's money. while on the other hand, his brother still yearns for that fatherly figure.

my fiance found that fatherly figure, not from his mom's new boyfriend from after his father left, but from his boss's. he still looks up to these men.

i'm not exactly sure as to what your question was or what you were trying to say. i'm thinking, you want a father for your child, but you don't want this "father" to be his biological father. that's understandable, and i'd have to agree.

yet, you want child support from this "man". it's a very complicated thing. people say that everywhere is different, so i'm not sure as to how things work where you're from. here, if the father pays child support, he has rights to see his child.

from my opinion, it shouldn't work that way. but if it does...you're better off making it on your own. get welfare, rely on family and friends, but never take advantage of what you've got.

before relying on others, try as hard as you possibly can to make things work out. if you feel strong enough, take this man to court and fight for FULL custody.

hope this helped...

No dad is better than a rapist for a dad. The best thing to do would be for you to someday find a good man in your life, and he could become the boy's father. Blood isn't as important as some people make it out to be.

As much as I'd like the rapist to have to pay child support, I wouldn't risk him getting visitation rights. That would be more harmful than helpful. That's my opinion. I hope it helps some.