I agree. There is no shame in being a victim. It's the monsters who hurt others who need to feel that shame.

I agree that there is nothing to be ashamed of as a survivor, and that speaking up takes the power away from the bastard that did it. The sad part is that society makes us FEEL ashamed and we are too scared to speak up in fear of retribution. Good on you for showing your daughter that there is nothing to be ashamed about!

thank you both so much for your responses.

it is ironic how many people keep the secret themselves. when I share what happened to me or to my daughter with someone, i do it because they give the vibe of understanding. more often than not, it has happened to them or to someone they know.

i still find myself being careful though. out of protectiveness for my daughter. some people are voyeuristic, nasty or make me feel like they are curious for reasons that are less than honorable, helpful.

i am so thankful for this community, where we can share without fear of reprisal.

I strongly agree... but it is not easy... the offenders are usually very good in making us think and believe that it is our fault and that we need to be ashamed...

Yes sometimes people are so shocked to hear someone speaks about the fact that they were raped.

It is also difficult to know if it is appropriate to discuss it with someone else. I feel there is never the right moment to say it unless the discussion is specifically about rape....?

Wow, everyone's comments here have pretty much echoed everything I think. I really wish sometimes I could be more open with people about my own past; I am being more open with my friends now, but I also know that I still need to protect myself from the voyeuristic types out there.
But I also know, the only way to break down the stigma is for enough people to come out into the open about it.

It's something I'm thinking really hard about for my new novel that I'm working on, I just don't yet know where that's going to lead.

I agree with girliem9 there is no shame in being a victim. We didn't ask for t his to happen. But we are strong enough to deal with it. Good for you!

I agree with everyone here. You don't have anything to feel guilty about and it's the offenders who need to feel the shame and live with the consequences of their actions. I'm sorry for what happened to you and your daughter. I'm here if you need to talk.

I totally agree and praise your decision to bring it to light and gain control over such a terrible situation. I am so sorry for both of your pain and am always here for you, mags