
Rape Support Group
If you or someone you know has been the victim of rape, this is the place to find support and get advice. If you want, discuss your experience, share your feelings, and meet others going through a similar situation.

deleted_user
I was "raped" when I was 18 and have spent the time since trying to ignore that it ever happened. I have tried counseling a few times but always quit going. I just feel to vulnerable and guilty honestly.
Here is short draft of my story. I moved to a new town...was hanging out with the wrong crowd....became friends with a guy...i guess he was trying to "woo" me....he knew i was a virgin and wanted to wait until i was married before i had sex....one night he took me to a friends house and gave me some alcohol..about 5 shots of vodka ( i didnt have much experience with alcohol) then asked me if i would go to the store with him..so he ended up taking me to a back road in the country and having sex with me...cant say that i was "blacked" out but i wasnt aware of what was going on..i can remember certain things...blood on the seats..him asking if my head was hurting from hitting the seat as he was thrusting(sorry so graphic) him putting my clothes back on and telling me not to tell anyone...drove me back to the friends house and left me there...friends asked why there was blood on me...i cried hysterically...never went home that night...when i did go home my parents kicked me out (they had no idea what had happened) and the guy who "raped" me left for the military the next day.
guess that sums it up...i have always felt so guilty...did couseling ever help you all with any of this? i get so angry at the counselors when i am there...any advice would be appreciated...hope that if I asked for this to happen to me that i havent offended any of you...
Here is short draft of my story. I moved to a new town...was hanging out with the wrong crowd....became friends with a guy...i guess he was trying to "woo" me....he knew i was a virgin and wanted to wait until i was married before i had sex....one night he took me to a friends house and gave me some alcohol..about 5 shots of vodka ( i didnt have much experience with alcohol) then asked me if i would go to the store with him..so he ended up taking me to a back road in the country and having sex with me...cant say that i was "blacked" out but i wasnt aware of what was going on..i can remember certain things...blood on the seats..him asking if my head was hurting from hitting the seat as he was thrusting(sorry so graphic) him putting my clothes back on and telling me not to tell anyone...drove me back to the friends house and left me there...friends asked why there was blood on me...i cried hysterically...never went home that night...when i did go home my parents kicked me out (they had no idea what had happened) and the guy who "raped" me left for the military the next day.
guess that sums it up...i have always felt so guilty...did couseling ever help you all with any of this? i get so angry at the counselors when i am there...any advice would be appreciated...hope that if I asked for this to happen to me that i havent offended any of you...
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As for feeling angry with your counsellors if you can be honest with your counsellors that you are feeling angry and they don't get defensive and can handle your anger than this could be something really positive that you can work on in counselling so good luck and no you haven't offended me (although i often worry that myself!)
take care
L
Somehow we fall into guilt over various things because NOW we can look back and see what happened. Isn't it too bad that none of us had the ability to look forward?
If you had known why he gave you the shots of vodka, would you have taken them? If you had known that he planned to get you in a secluded place and rape you, would you have willingly gone? I'd bet my last dollar that the answer is no... that you would have gotten as far away from him as you could.
You have nothing to be guilty of here. Really. The guilt is entirely his and he should have gone to prison for the crime he committed against you.
Also, he knew he was guilty... he admitted it when he told you not to tell anyone.
You did NOT deserve it. It was not your fault in any way, shape or form.
Hoping all the best for you,
kaye
We have each carried our own burden of self-blame and shame. Each of us thinks our reasons are just and appropriate for us. We openly and freely tell others here on this site that what happened to them was not their fault. All the while, harboring shame and guilt over our own experience. This is sadly a common trait among us, but we are wrong to entertain thoughts of guilt, or shame. We compound the crime by allowing this kind of thinking to invade.
My therapist has indeed helped me, but, it is the hard work I have invested that has made the difference. He is gifted and concerned, but he is not able to accomplish MY healing. Only I can do that. I do it by showing up to therapy, being 100% committed to healing and the work required to see myself through to that end. You can do it too. Bumps and stalls will be inevitable, but, you have to keep going knowing every step forward cannot be stolen from you - you own every bit of progress, all of it!
You cannot let that fear make you not get your story out there. You have grown since then, and you have become much stronger. Just make sure that you tell someone who is a good friend, someone that will listen, and someone you can trust to not tell everyone else that you know. (((HUGS))) I am here if you need me. Take care and I hope that everything goes well.