Im in a bit of a state right now. im really worried that im pregnant. all the signs are saying that im not. i was on the pill when the attack took place, and ive come on my period since. despite all this my gut feeling is telling me that i am pregnant. im feeling sick a lot of the time, though this could be a kinda a placebo thing or could be due to worry. Even though i shouldnt be pregnant im still gonna take a pregnancy test tomorrow. im terrified. i wish i had someone i could talk to, or just cry on. i would talk to my friends (the only ones who know this has happened) but i get the feeling they dont believe me. the only one who i know dose believe me is happy i dont want to ruin it. crying into a pillow every night till i fall to sleep back into the nightmares isnt really working. i just wish i had someone i could lean on. although my rapist didnt beat me up or anytihng like that im still upset and angry about what happened and ... i dont know its difficult dealing with this one my own. i feel scared and alone.
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