Rape Support Group

If you or someone you know has been the victim of rape, this is the place to find support and get advice. If you want, discuss your experience, share your feelings, and meet others going through a similar situation.

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/ Rape Support Group

question...sorry if its lengthy!

deleted_user
deleted_user
I was with a man who was 18 years older than me when I was 17. I told him I would never have sex with him the first time we talked...but the week after my 18th birthday...it just happened? I stayed with him for two years because I so desperately wanted someone to love me...but i dont think he did. My question is...After we split, he begged me to see him because he was depressed, i agreed...when we met I told him again and again I would not be sexual with him...and believe me, I was SO proud of myself! He asked so much that eventually I gave a kinda maybe/no/maybe/whatever kinda answer and then he penetrated me...

My therapist tells me thats rape...but I have trouble believing her...I feel like because I didnt give the clear NO right before it happened...it doesnt count?

Advice? Opinions?
deleted_user
deleted_user
How do you feel about it? Do you think it was rape?
I guess, in my opinion, the only one that can answer that question is you. My situation is some what simular, and I feel, yes, it was. Others may not look at it that way.
You have to be the one to know. Say the same thing happened to your best friend, or something. Would you think it was rape, then? Chances are, it was.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Thanks...I think that makes sense! Perhaps its just to soon for me to admit it....but the support helps. :)
deleted_user
deleted_user
the deffintition of concent is saying yes, not not saying no. But I too agree that its all about how you feel about it, only you know the situation and only you know how you feel about it. Good luck with everything
deleted_user
deleted_user
when i was raped i never said no you dont have to say anything if he knew you werent ready he shouldnt have forced it. i was raped at 14 by a 42 yr. old so no matter what it was rape but knowing you didnt want it and you didnt say yes it was rape. if im not makeing sense message me and ill see what i can do
deleted_user
deleted_user
your post really rang true to me. when i was raped i never said yes. i said no flat out and then "i dont know" like a million times. i've spent three years trying to convince myself that it wasn't rape because i didn't say no enough or assertive enough. it is though. you may unconsciously be trying to focus on the details like this rather than the emotion. i think if you focus on your emotions and how you feel about it, you'll find your answer.
deleted_user
deleted_user
In my opinion yes it was rape. My advice is to see your therapy through. There are a lot of hard emotions to go through.
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