
Rape Support Group
If you or someone you know has been the victim of rape, this is the place to find support and get advice. If you want, discuss your experience, share your feelings, and meet others going through a similar situation.

deleted_user
OK. I don't mean to be really graphic but I need to talk about this cause I'm freaking out right now. I'm in the process of moving. I have to be moved out by this weekend. As I was packing up my stuff to move I saw them...my underwear. When I got home from the islands the first thing I did was throw away the dress I wore that night. It wasn't until a few weeks later I came across my underwear. They are covered in blood. I just kicked them under my bed to make them disappear. I couldn't deal with them. And I looked at them and started to freak out tonight. What do I do? Logically I say just throw them out right? Why would I want to keep them? Why would I want any reminder other than the nightmares and flashbacks that haunt me...I don't know. But I don't feel like I can just throw them out either. I was a virgin when I was raped. I had chosen to wait for marriage...and I think in a way in my head these underwear represent my stolen virginity. I feel like if I throw them out I'll be throwing away my virginity. Has enough been ripped out of me???
I just don't know what to do right now. I can't keep ignoring them I have to move tomorrow...Am I crazy if I don't throw them out? I don't know what I would do with them. Am I supposed to put them in a ziploc baggie or something? I don't want to see them or touch them but I don't feel like I can just throw them out either. God I feel crazy! I'm sorry...
I just don't know what to do right now. I can't keep ignoring them I have to move tomorrow...Am I crazy if I don't throw them out? I don't know what I would do with them. Am I supposed to put them in a ziploc baggie or something? I don't want to see them or touch them but I don't feel like I can just throw them out either. God I feel crazy! I'm sorry...

deleted_user
Ok, you are not crazy in anyway shape or form. Don't be sorry either. You are allowed to have feelings and you should be able to express them. You are freaking aout and you are stuck, its ok to feel a little out of control tonight. I haven't reaqd your story so I am talking out of the top of my head right now. If your reported this which I imagine you didn't if you threw your knickers under the bed, then you should store the knickers in a brown paper bag to preseve any remaining DNA. If you didn't, and this is the first time you have spoken out I would say the best thing to do tonight would be to say goodby to them. Scope them up, remind yourself you are a strong woman and can deal with it. Keeping them as some sort of keep sake is really not a good idea for your head. This is only my opinion. Can you get some camomile tea perhaps right now to help you slow yourself down? I use it and did use it tonight (I am at work)to help me when I can't use my xanax when I am having PTSD issues.

deleted_user
You are not crazy first of all. You were hurt badly by another person. You think we have have evolved enough to realise when things are not meant to happen but apparently not. He didn't take your viginity when you have sex for the first time then your viginity is lost. He did nothing I know how you feel I was gand raped and had a coat hanger shoved up me. Everything was bad I could trust men i hadn;t had sex until this year and its been 8 years since it happened to me. but i cant forget!!!!! If you ever want to talk i am here!!!

deleted_user
Well I spoke to my nutrition therapist today about it because we had an appointment and I don't see my therapist until tuesday. She told me that it was ok to be feeling this way. We decided to put them in a bag and I am going to put them in my storage unit. That way I don't have to deal with them right now. She doesn't want me to feel forced to deal with them. I don't want them to hold that power over me. So I can put them in a place that I wont keep coming across them and then when I'm ready to deal with it I can choose to deal with it. And then they wont affect my move. I was able to do that and work all morning. Thank you for your support!
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