between nightmares and my flashbacks i barely seem to be able to get the strength to go outside because with each man i see i can't help but wonder if he was the one that attacked me...my nightmares seem to be just getting worse, I don't want to go to sleep because each time i do i relive it all over again. It makes it so hard to go on with my life. The memories seem more than i can bare at times i can't stop asking question to which I will probably never have the answers. How can somebody do that to another person? So many different people so many different times, just one girl..how much can one human being take. Just needed to get this out i haven't been able to tell anybody because nobody wants to listen, they want me to pretend it never happened, and others just pretend to listen and offer false comfort.
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I gave my 2 week notice last Friday 13th. Now to join you fine people in a life of leisure and nothing else to do but to look out for myself....is it just me or does that sound pretty boring? My goal was to live to retire and I guess having to take early retirement because of health reasons wasn't exactly the way I had planned things. I just can't stay in that building that is reeking mildew...