Hi everyone hope u are all ok.

Bit of background - i am married and have a 2 year old son.

I was raped in september by someone that i knew, not well but my friend had known him for 2 yrs or so. I dont really want to discuss the details at the moment as this is the first time i have discussed it. only 3 people know, my husband, my best friend and my friend(not so much anymore) who was there that night.

I thought I was coping but im really not. Im pregnant and i dont know if its going to be my husbands or not, not sure if i ant to know, i couldnt terminate as chance it is my husbands and is still my baby.

I cant stand to be touched in a sexual way, whilst having sex i get flashbacks and i hate it, i wish i could erase those awful memories.

I dont want to talk about it, im ashamed. I had been on a night out at the time, was very drunk but i knew i didnt want it, i hate having to think about it, it makes me feel sick. I cried throughout.