Good luck on wednesday. I'm so sorry for what happened to you. I got raped this year as well and I feel exactly like you. Men scare me so much. I can't trust anyone. At school (I'm 13) it is so difficult. I feel really uncomfortable around male teachers. And when my guy friends touch me, even if we're just joking around, it always brings back awful memories. Anyways, you're not alone and good luck again. I admire you for being strong and brave enough to have reported him.

Hey Elle. I wish you luck. This anxiety is very understandable, but I am glad you are strong enough that you are able to go to trial. It's good you have a strong will, that means you will get through this. For your anxiety, all I can reccommend are some breathing excercizes while you are in court. Don't let this experience haunt you into staying indoors either. Continue to live your life and face your fear (but be safe too of course). Otherwise you will end up like me- and a long battle to finally shed off that person's effects on you. I'm praying for you!! ! ! !

I am sorry I can't offer you words of real advice because I haven't done the reporting thing. I just wanted to let you know how brave you are, well done. I listen to the eagles a lot if that helps. Good luck on Wednesday.

I can't really help, as I've never been through the trial process. I am a bit jealous though. I reported my rape and the investigator basically told me that I had done everything wrong and nothing would ever be done about it.

I guess I'm just trying to say, look at the bright side. I know the whole thing is scary and horrible, but hold on to the hope that justice will be served. Because of you, he can't hurt people anymore. You really are extremely brave. Good Luck!!

It might get worse but then, it will get better. You will know that you did something to bring that dirty criminal to justice.
I have the same reactions to men sometimes. I just cringe when I get touched or someone comes too close or even at times when they look at me. For years I was fine and now, since the problems with my H, it came back. It's not a big deal but I would like to be able to control it. My solution is to avoid physical contact with men. Everything else is doable.

The very best of luck tomorrow. My rapist chenged his plea to guilty (although changed it back which you can under British Law apparantly). He eventually changed back and so I was spared a trial. However I know what you are going through as I had to face him in a court and the smirking and obvious lack of remorse was hoeendous. It is said that rape is the only crime where the victim is also the suspect. You have to be strong because him being put behind bars helped me enormously and i'm not sure i would have survived had he not have been. keep focused and remember YOU DID NOTHING WRONG. He needs to and deserves to go to prison.
re the dreams 6 months is nothing. I am 5 years down the line and i get the vivid dreams although much left frequently. If you are scared of the dark keep a light on or a night light. I had to do this for about 2 years and still do some nights. I have been lucky in that i have been ok with male friends but touch from peeople i don't know i feel invade my space too much and i've had a few 'words' when out about people i think are invading my space. 'My space' having grown a lot since my attack.
Unfortunately I can't say what will help you but for me one thing was realising that moving on or getting over it is not linear. I have been so up and down, backwards and forwards and sometimes feel right back at the beginning when it all happened. However there a re a lot of good days and i know i'll get through the bad ones.

Thoughts on leading upp to the trial alternated between wanting to stop it all , believing i couldn't do it through to imagining the feeling of triumph at getting him convicted. in the end i didn't take my eyes off him as he was sentenced and it felt good but sad as i would rather have been anywhere but there and was angry at the time that this man has robbed from me.I also couldn't believe how insignificant this man looked that devastated my life.
Sorry i'm rambling but i will be thinking of you tomorrow and i hope you get the justice you need and deserve
Loads of love Robyn

I'm not really sure if I can be much help. I'm still dealing with my own fears and anxieties after 16 years. I'd like to say it gets easier. But, I hide my rape for a while when it did happen. And, I hide my pain behind drugs and alcohol for years after. For the last 10 years or so, I just hid the pain, by occuping myself with my children. It's all just starting to get the best of me.
I applaud you for your tremendous courage. You are very strong. What he did to you is horrible. But, I do believe for your strength you have written about here, you will get through this.
I hope my words of encouragement, and the others will help you.

Rascall Flatts "Stand".. I think you will fins this song to be your best friend for awhile. Your attacker is facing his consequesces, and just know what happens to rapists in jail. He will get his. Take care of you!

I listened to Lyle Lovett 'The Road to Ensenada' almost continously afetr I was attacked

Thanks for all the beautiful support and love.

I hope that evcerything went well in the trial.... I know how it feals to report it as i also did, Mine happend on aug 15 of this year. I am awaiting trial for Feburary 6th. The accused waved his right to a preliminary trial, so i only have to one. It would be great if you could tell me how yours went seeing him there. I am nery nervoius to go. |I hope everything worked out for you!

I am truely sad for anyone who has been raped.Man or woman. But you will actually get past it easier if you get to the punishment phase. He deserves that and more. I never got to go to court . My husband was too embarresed to let me involve the law.I suffered until it ended my marriage and almost ending my spirit. I know its hard to face him and life in general but dont let him take any more from you.BTW, I listen to VanMorrison.It helps.Good luck to you and you will gain strength from here.

I HAD MINE TWO AGO.I WAS SCARED.I CAN UNDERSTAND WHAT YOUR GOING THOUGH.MUSIC I FIND COMFORTING IS SOFT-ROCK AND SONG I CAN SING TO BUT ONE I FIND IS ONE DAY AT A TIME.