My story is kind of long, im sorry. If you hate long stories, just move on haha :) im mainly just writing it for my own therapy. One night while I was on "Myspace", I recieved a message from a random guy. We started talking for a while, and I found him to be really interesting. In one of the messages, he asked me where I lived. I told him my cross streets and he said "I LIVE JUST TWO STREETS DOWN! Come over, lets hang out!". I thought about it for a bit, and decided to go because the guy seemed really harmless, I wasnt sacred at all. I had to sneek out of the house because I didnt want my mom to know where I was going. I also stole her brand new S.U.V that she had just bought the previous week. As I was driving to his house, we were talking on the phone. When I finally turned down onto his street, he said "Hey be careful because I saw a crazy drunk guy walking down my street..." I was just like "Ok....??" and didnt think very much of it. Then, when I stopped in front of his house, he said "Ok I see you..." and then hung up the phone. I was looking around for him when all of a sudden something slammed up against my side window. I screamed and then looked at it to figure out what the hell it was. All I could see was a figure of a man standing there just staring at me. I didnt know what to do, I thought it might be that crazy drunk guy he was talking about... Then the guy started laughing, finally, and said "Its me Jake, I was just trying to mess with you!". I put my car in park, but left the keys in the ignition, and got out to introduce myself. The guy was only about my height, he was wearing a shirt that said "I heart Mormon Girls", and I remember I found it funny. Anways, he started grabbing at my stomach as if he were trying to tickle me or something so I started backing up and hunching over so he couldnt reach me cause I found it odd. Eventually, he got me so far away from my car that he was able to get past me and into my car. Then, he shut the door, locked it, rolled down the window and said: "How do you know this is where I really live?" I was really confused so I said: "Because you told me." Ill never forget his face...he had this really creepy grin on his face and he winked at me and said: "Thanks for the car". I immidiately reached out and grabbed onto the car. He then said: "listen I dont want you to get hurt. Let go of the car." So, I did and he took off in it. The weirdest feeling in the world came over me, then. It was like I was numb and sick at the same time. My body got really cold and tingly. I had just got my moms brand new car stolen. "Oh shit" were the only words going through my head. When I started walking home, I noticed my moms car coming down the opposite side of the street. I was relieved to see that it was Jake. He parked the car in front of his house and got out saying: "Oh my gosh, you should have seen your face!! It was so funny!! I was just messing with you..." When I asked for my keys back, he said: "You can have them when you go home. But, first, I want you to come in and meet my roommates." I decided to go ahead and go meet the roommates and give Jake another chance cause maybe he was just an accentric dude, you know? When we got inside, he asked me to have a seat on the couch in the living room, so I sat down while he went down the hall into the back bedrooms. He came out a while later and said: "My roommates are busy studying so they arnt gonna come out." Then, he came over and sat on the other side of the couch. We started talking and the conversation was somewhat normal until he started asking me random graphic sexual questions. I didnt feel comfortable answering them, so I just changed the subject each time. He would also get up off the couch, walk over to me and get on top of me while I was sitting. He would try and stick his tongue in my mouth, but I fought really hard to push him away. Sometimes, he would spread my legs, start dry humping me and say: "Do you like it like this?". The last time I pushed him off of me, he sat back down on his side of the couch and asked me: "What would your boyfriend do if he knew what we were doing right now?" I told him: "we arnt doing anything. But he would probably kill you for doing what you're doing." He then got up off the couch and said, as he walked down the hall to the back bedrooms, "Oh, I assure you, I wouldnt be the one to die." After a few minutes Jake came back with a gun. He said: "If your boyfriend ever came near me, I would shoot him in between his mother fucking eyes". I felt really scared at that point because I dont like guns and his demenor had taken on this level of seriousness....it was strange. (Real quick: when this happend, they had just caught these snipers by my house that were killing people as they walked down this street called "Stapely". It was a real big deal in our community.) Anway, he came up behind me after that and pressed the gun up to the back of my head and put his face next to mine and said: "You know how they caught those 'Stapley Snipers'?" I said "mmm-hmm". Then he whispered in my ear: "Well how do you know they caught them all?". I cant possibly express the fear that had begun to well up in my body. I was getting that cold/numb/sick feeling again as this guy basically insinuated that he was one of the "Stapley Snipers". I thought I had just become like....apart of their next killing spree or something. It was silent for a good minute or two when he finally pulled the trigger. It was empty. He chuckled a little and then said something to the effect of: "Oh yeah, I always keep the first shot empty just in case its pointed at me." Then, he walked around the couch and stood in front of me. With the gun now sitting directly on my forehead, he started saying: "This is going to be loud. But you wont really feel much." For some reason, it didnt hit me until right then that I was actually about to die. I got this sensation like when someone holds you under water before you even got to get a breath of air in and you start to panic and wonder if you will ever get to the surface again..... I dunno....thats the only sensation I can think to compare it to, that panic. When he pulled the trigger, it was empty again and he was laughing. He threw the gun down on the other side of the couch and then leaned over me to get to this compartment thing in the middle of the couch that looked like an ordinary arm rest, but it opened. He pulled out another gun. It was black and chunky and looked like something out of a movie about gangs or something. With a serious tone in his voice, he told me that that gun was really loaded and if I wanted to live then i'de better follow his instructions. I agreed to go along with whatever was gonna happen next cause I really wanted to live, duh. He told me to get on my knees on the floor. I tried soooooo hard to get myself to move but I couldnt!! It was so weird! I was litterally like...paralysed from the fear that was going through my body. Being frusterated, he grabbed me by my hair and yanked me onto the ground. I just fell right onto my face and it hurt because the carpet slid againt my skin and burned a bit. He told me to get on my knees, and I had managed to sort of re-gain bodily control and got up. My heart started beating really fast as he started to unzip his pants. I did NOT want to do what I KNEW was about to happen...... And it happend, he shoved his penis in my face and told me to suck on it. (Eww, gross, I know, im sorry...) I told him that I didnt know how, which was true. So, he told me to "pretend it's a lollypop" and then he put his penis is my mouth. I tried but kept gagging cause it tasted like horrible-ness and he kept shoving it so far back! Eventually he just got frusterated and told me to stand up. So, I did. He asked me to take off my cloths. I didnt want to so I said "No, please, just let me try to do what we were doing before! I promise Ill try harder." But he walked over, slid the gun up between my theight all the way up to my crotch and said "I dont want you to do what we were doing before. Now take off your clothes. Do you not understand that I have a gun?". By this time I had started shaking really really bad so it was really hard to stand up, let alone take off my clothes. I thought for sure I was about to colapse so many times, im sure I looked really pathetic. So, he helped me. After I was naked, he grabbed my lower jaw and pulled my face close up to his and just stared into my eyes. I didnt like being so close to his face and his eyes really scared me...they were...kind of empty and cold. Really scary. He told me to stop shaking. I tried to, but the more he yelled at me to stop shaking the more I started shaking! I litterally had no control over my body which was sooooooo weird for me! Anyway, he got frusterated with me I guess, so he shoved me backwards. I ended up tripping and falling back onto this side table thing. My bare back slid across the corner of the table and gashed a huge cut across my back as I feel. I cant even begin to express to you guys how bad that freakin hurt. I could feel my stomach and my throat like...twist....and my face get really really hot....and like hot pins and needles like things rush from my feet to my head....I couldnt breath it hurt so bad, it hurt so bad that I actually threw up and thats such a crazy sensation, to not be able to breath but throw up at the same time! I actually breathed in some of my barf once I was able to catch my breath...it was so gross and uncomfortable. Jake then grabbed my legs and flipped me on to my back, right onto my damn gash! Then he got on top of me and put his penis inside of me. It was hard for him though because I wasnt even wet... So he spit on me....ughhhhhhhhhhhh.....but it barely helped, at least it didnt help the pain down there. By this time, I had begun sobbing. Mostly because of the physicaly pain I was in but also because I was really frightened. He told me to shut up several times, but I litterally couldnt. I tried to close my mouth but I would start convulsing. After a while, Jake grabbed my face and said "Stop crying! You look so ugly when you cry!" (Now I cant cry in front of people cause I feel so ugly....) Anyways, I kept crying. So he started banging my head into the floor over and over and over and over and over again until I just passed out. When I woke up, I was covered with a blanket and he was on the couch watching t.v. He had just left me there, I couldnt died of a concussion!! But I doubt he would have cared anyway, right? Anways...I got up and he got up and rushed over to me. He was crying and begging me for my forgiveness for what happend. I told him it was ok, but I wanted to go home. He said of course and even helped me find and put on my clothes. There was so much blood on his carpet from my back, I guess... It really freaked me out, bad. Then he walked me to my car and helped me in to it and gave me my keys. But before I shut my door he said "If you tell anyone about this I will kill you and your family." So I said I wouldnt say anything and he let me go. I went to a friends house to borrow clothes because I didnt want to go home all bloody and nasty. My friend freaked out when she saw me, but she helped me and took care of me. Im really lucky to have her cause she has always taken care of me and loved me no matter what. She didnt even push for me to tell her what happend. Anyway, i had to go to the hospital and have my back stiched because the wound was so deep. Then I finally got home like....that night. My mom was sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo mad about the car. She yelled at me for hours. days. she STILL talks about it! If only she knew what had happend, hahahaha, you know? Actually, my freakin therapist ended up telling her one day, so she knows now but she doesnt know her car was involved. After that, I cut off all my long blonde hair and dyed it really dark brown. I stopped hanging out with most of my friends. Stopped calling people. Dropped out of college. Gained 85 pounds of trauma weight (you wouldnt believe the stretch marks!) I quit my job I was at. Slept pretty much all day because I would have horrible anxiety attacks when awake. Luckily I did find this amazing therapist, and even though he ratted me out and told my secret to my mom, I still had a good experience with him. He taught me lots of things to cope. I wouldnt have survived without him. I actually fell in love with him, hahahahahaha!!!! I still have warm feelings for him. I still really struggle with my self esteem, big time. I have a phobia of red trucks (cause he owned one), haha. I wont let ANYONE get in the drivers seat of my car, not even my boyfriend who I love. Even if you bring out a toy gun, I will start sweating big time. Anways thats my story. Sorry it was so freaking long and boring!
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