i was 13 when my stepdad first started just "touching me" and then after a while he became more aggressive and he started coming to my room at night with umm this is hard to say but i cant live with it inside me anymore i have to tell it was a dildo and started hurting me with it telling me that if i ever told he will hurt me and my mom..i believed him because one night he showed me a pistol and said he will hurt my mom with it..well he went further and had sex with me ..i remember laying there wishing my mom would come in and help me but he was always to careful for that.. i cried myself to sleep that night and many more nights after that...his brother was no different than he was they past me around like i was nothing and i was scared to say anything to anyone....the fingered me till i bleed and made me perform oral sex on them and this went on till the day i turned 18 years old and moved out of that house...my mom and stepdad are no longer married and i have never told my mom i know it would hurt her deeply and i would never want to be the cause of that but i am now 27 years old and still wake up every night with horrible nightmares and i hate it and i hate them for what they did to me ..but in a sick and weird way i feel as if i could have stopped them and didnt and if i could have dressed different or acted different maybe they would have left me alone like it was all my fault or something..
Posts You May Be Interested In
I have been here before, a long long time ago and now I am back.Forgive me for not just saying what I want to say,even under a triple dose of antidepressants it is still raw and seeping and I am hesitant at revealing it as at least under the bandages around my heart I don,t have to look at how raw and wounded.My child was cleaved from my heart by his own actions. my child of ten,turning eleven...
I gave my 2 week notice last Friday 13th. Now to join you fine people in a life of leisure and nothing else to do but to look out for myself....is it just me or does that sound pretty boring? My goal was to live to retire and I guess having to take early retirement because of health reasons wasn't exactly the way I had planned things. I just can't stay in that building that is reeking mildew...