
Rape Support Group
If you or someone you know has been the victim of rape, this is the place to find support and get advice. If you want, discuss your experience, share your feelings, and meet others going through a similar situation.

deleted_user
How much is too much to tell a University lecturer ????????
I missed an important deadline today for an essay, i asked for an extension which was declined too close to the deadline.
i want to plead my case but would have to tell my tutor a lot to get him to understand.
how much is too much
aw please help :(
diana
I missed an important deadline today for an essay, i asked for an extension which was declined too close to the deadline.
i want to plead my case but would have to tell my tutor a lot to get him to understand.
how much is too much
aw please help :(
diana
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How comfortable do you feel sharing this information with someone that you will see all the time?
Perhaps you can go to the dean of your school and request time off or an extension. Please don't feel afraid to take time off, it may actually be really empowering and good for you to work on yourself--go to therapy, lots of rest, etc.
To be honest, if the tutor or dean is male, I wouldn't say anything to them. I've been thinking about that question, to tell or not to tell, lately, as well, when it comes to my job and boss. I decided that it is incredibly private and difficult to deal with this and having my boss know would make me feel uncomfortable. For that reason, I haven't told him and am actually glad to be at work since it distracts me from my depression. Work isn't like school where you have assignments, research, homework, tests, etc. For you, school is doing the opposite of what work is doing for me. You have a mountain of pain to deal with while trying to keep up--that's so incredibly difficult. Good for you for hanging in there but let's focus on YOU instead.
Maybe, if you aren't already, talk to a therapist. Ask him/her for help in coping and see what else is out there to heal. Don't be afraid of taking time off--it's ONLY school and it will still be there next semester. The most important thing is your healing, comfort, and peace of mind. Discuss that possibility with your therapist, she or he can send you to a psychiatrist that will write you an excuse so that you can simply get incompletes for your current classes, instead of bad grades. Remember that you health and well being is the most important thing. You survived a horrible attack and NATURALLY, you feel pain and suffer so please don't hold that against yourself. You'd have to be a robot to be all smiles and getting straight A's.
I didn't go to my professors/instructors first. I went to the head of my program and my academic advisor to first. I would suggest talking to your academic advisor. All you need to tell them is "I was raped". Not easy to do at all and, for me, had me crying for 20 minutes in front of both these lovely ladies.
After making sure I to put me on the right track for emotional and physical health, they suggested that I either meet with my professors to ask for extensions (you could get a not from your academic advisor or counselor or someone if you feel the need to disclose with your instructor and cannot say it aloud). Two of my professor's refused extensions.
I don't know what your university's policies are, but here at USC we can receive medical incompletes.
My advisor had me go to my doctor (you can go to your counselor or some other professional as well) and get a letter saying I needed a medical incomplete. I told my doctor about the rape and how it disrupted my studies. He wrote me a letter-- all it needed to say was that for medical reasons Jennifer will not be able to complete the coursework for these classes. No description needed-- if it comes from your doctor or counselor the school should be ok with it. My doctor also let them know they could call him if they had questions. Your doctor is under strict HIPPA rules so your privacy will most definitely be guarded.
Its working for me, I hope it works for you. I now have a year to finish the coursework in these classes.
Is there a student welfare office or something similar that you can talk to, maybe ask them for advice?