Is your tutor a male or female?

How comfortable do you feel sharing this information with someone that you will see all the time?

Perhaps you can go to the dean of your school and request time off or an extension. Please don't feel afraid to take time off, it may actually be really empowering and good for you to work on yourself--go to therapy, lots of rest, etc.

To be honest, if the tutor or dean is male, I wouldn't say anything to them. I've been thinking about that question, to tell or not to tell, lately, as well, when it comes to my job and boss. I decided that it is incredibly private and difficult to deal with this and having my boss know would make me feel uncomfortable. For that reason, I haven't told him and am actually glad to be at work since it distracts me from my depression. Work isn't like school where you have assignments, research, homework, tests, etc. For you, school is doing the opposite of what work is doing for me. You have a mountain of pain to deal with while trying to keep up--that's so incredibly difficult. Good for you for hanging in there but let's focus on YOU instead.

Maybe, if you aren't already, talk to a therapist. Ask him/her for help in coping and see what else is out there to heal. Don't be afraid of taking time off--it's ONLY school and it will still be there next semester. The most important thing is your healing, comfort, and peace of mind. Discuss that possibility with your therapist, she or he can send you to a psychiatrist that will write you an excuse so that you can simply get incompletes for your current classes, instead of bad grades. Remember that you health and well being is the most important thing. You survived a horrible attack and NATURALLY, you feel pain and suffer so please don't hold that against yourself. You'd have to be a robot to be all smiles and getting straight A's.

Well if your tutor is a professional it shouldn't matter whether they're male or female, you should still be able to expect some support. I'm sure the same thing has happened before with many other students, so if you tell them the truth they'll probably know exactly how to handle it - and more importantly they'll know what practical help is available for you.

I would tell him the reason why you missed the deadline,Dont be like me and drop outta school for it and others stuff..He/She would understand since its a serious matter,Good Luck on school =]

Does your school have an office for students with disabilities. It may be slightly embarassing but you can always register with them. That's what I had to do. Then it was easier because they told my teachers I had a problem and they were then a little more lenient.

I am going through this just as well. In fact, I ended up being a whole month behind in several classes.
I didn't go to my professors/instructors first. I went to the head of my program and my academic advisor to first. I would suggest talking to your academic advisor. All you need to tell them is "I was raped". Not easy to do at all and, for me, had me crying for 20 minutes in front of both these lovely ladies.
After making sure I to put me on the right track for emotional and physical health, they suggested that I either meet with my professors to ask for extensions (you could get a not from your academic advisor or counselor or someone if you feel the need to disclose with your instructor and cannot say it aloud). Two of my professor's refused extensions.
I don't know what your university's policies are, but here at USC we can receive medical incompletes.
My advisor had me go to my doctor (you can go to your counselor or some other professional as well) and get a letter saying I needed a medical incomplete. I told my doctor about the rape and how it disrupted my studies. He wrote me a letter-- all it needed to say was that for medical reasons Jennifer will not be able to complete the coursework for these classes. No description needed-- if it comes from your doctor or counselor the school should be ok with it. My doctor also let them know they could call him if they had questions. Your doctor is under strict HIPPA rules so your privacy will most definitely be guarded.
Its working for me, I hope it works for you. I now have a year to finish the coursework in these classes.

i told my instructor everything~~it poured out one day after a panic attack in class and i just didn't want to hold it in anymore (i hadn't told anyone prior). my instructor was female. and it was probably the best decision i ever made because not only did it make me less worried about my class deadlines and such because she was so understanding, but also being in class i just felt so much more comfortable, like i didn't need to take time off because i was safe and less stressed. just my thoughts, but i think it could only help

i think it all depends on what you feel comfortable doing. towards the end of last year i actually dropped out of school because of a break down i had from everything. i ended up telling the school board along with some of my teachers. all of my teachers i told said they'd be willing to work with me so i didn't have to drop out.. i was too much of a mess at the time and had to leave, but the school board gave me back my tuition money and let me reenter the following semester. i didn't need to go into too much detail, but everyone i talked to was really understanding and helpful, so i don't know how it will be for you, but on how much you "should" tell.. that's up to you and what you're comfortable with. As i said though, in my experience it was better to just say what happened. good luck with everything and feel free to talk if you ever want to

I decided to take "medical leave" from my college for this semester in order to deal with my rape and all the feelings I was having as a result. It was a tough decision but I'm glad I did it. First semester was so rough for me as was our January term so I can't imagine what would have happened if I would have stayed. But it's whatever you think you can do. If you can talk to someone and stay there and do well, then go for it! But if you need to take some time off to heal and deal with everything, no one's going to look down on you. Note: I was meeting with a school counselor all year before I made my choice so she helped by telling the administrators that she backed my choice to withdraw and it made it a lot easier. Now I'm just having to decide if I'm going back to my old school this fall or transferring to a closer school. Good luck with your decision Diana. *hugs*

You can tell him without going into detail, cant you?

thank you so much for all your advice and support, i spoke to him but it did not go well, x

oh no what do you mean it didn't go well dear?

he wont grant me a personal circumstances extension and said that i need to be deemed medically unfit, that shouldnt be hard right now

:( i'm sorry that was his reaction...it seems as though you are having a personal circumstance that would be worthy of an extension, but thats just my opinion. if you are able to be deemed medically unfit i'd say that's the best way to go...i feel for you, its always an awkward position to be in on top of everything else you're working through. if you need anything feel free to message me anytime

Well I'm sorry that he was so unsupportive.
Is there a student welfare office or something similar that you can talk to, maybe ask them for advice?