Rape Support Group
If you or someone you know has been the victim of rape, this is the place to find support and get advice. If you want, discuss your experience, share your feelings, and meet others going through a similar situation.
today my friend, who i love to death but only really got to know recently, told me today that back in May when she was with her ex, who used to hit her and was a manipulitive bastard, raped her. she said it like it was nothing, she thinks its her fault, she told me she said no over and over again and was crying when he took off her trousers but she said that she still thinks it was her fault because she didnt physically fight him off. she said she LET him, but she said no because she didnt want to and even though he did it anyway it means that she was still to blame.
i told her to go to the police and report him because i didnt want her to end up feeling the way i do now and regretting not saying anything, and i managed to tell someone about what happened to me, i was shaking the whole time i told her and when she told me. she said it with a laugh because she said thats the only way she can deal with it, and it only recently hit her that it was rape, she still says he "kinda raped me", but she does want to tell.
i dont know how to help her because it makes me shake when she talks to me, it makes me nervous and a bit sick and even though i know what advice to give, i cant figure out what to tell her.
she said that the police would ask why she didnt report it sooner and that would make it look like she was lying, and that he would say that she wanted it, so she's confused as to what to do.
i love this girl soo much and i dont want her to hurt, i want her to get some help, even if she doesnt report it, i just want her to be safe, it brings up things with me and she ended up telling me how wrong it was for me and that i should tell, and i feel like a hypocrite because i still dont want to but i want her to tell, only because it was so recently and i think they could get him because of all the other stuff hes done to her.
any replies would be awesome because i feel like i can understand what shes going through and i will definitely be there for her, but im not the person to talk to for advice on how to deal, because i cant really do it myself.
thanks.
i told her to go to the police and report him because i didnt want her to end up feeling the way i do now and regretting not saying anything, and i managed to tell someone about what happened to me, i was shaking the whole time i told her and when she told me. she said it with a laugh because she said thats the only way she can deal with it, and it only recently hit her that it was rape, she still says he "kinda raped me", but she does want to tell.
i dont know how to help her because it makes me shake when she talks to me, it makes me nervous and a bit sick and even though i know what advice to give, i cant figure out what to tell her.
she said that the police would ask why she didnt report it sooner and that would make it look like she was lying, and that he would say that she wanted it, so she's confused as to what to do.
i love this girl soo much and i dont want her to hurt, i want her to get some help, even if she doesnt report it, i just want her to be safe, it brings up things with me and she ended up telling me how wrong it was for me and that i should tell, and i feel like a hypocrite because i still dont want to but i want her to tell, only because it was so recently and i think they could get him because of all the other stuff hes done to her.
any replies would be awesome because i feel like i can understand what shes going through and i will definitely be there for her, but im not the person to talk to for advice on how to deal, because i cant really do it myself.
thanks.
deleted_user
You both need therapy. I agree with you that she should go to the police, even if nothing comes of it she will have told her story and that, as you know, is a huge thing. She will also be able to get a restraining order. I am sorry you were triggered but once again you have proved yourself to be a strong woman for being there for your friend.
deleted_user
The best thing you can do is to listen. I am sorry that it brings up your issues but if you really want to know what she needs from you it is for you to listen. Let her relive it out loud to you so she will realize what happened. Support her if she decideds to go to the police even though it will be hard to prove and they may do nothing, at least she will have stood up for herself. If she has trusted you enough to tell you then do not let her down now...it will just be another violation.You are obviously a strong and loyal friend...just do what you think you would need in the same situation.
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