I was raped my first time when I was 14 (I was a virgin). He was also my first official bf. We dated for two weeks before he raped me. He tried seducing me, getting me drunk, etc. etc. then got sick of me resisting I guess and raped me. I didn't know what rape was really back then, so I just assumed that being smacked around, tied up, and forced to do something I didn't want to do was "sex". So I avoided it (sex and dating) for a year, then I turned into a slut. I was confusing sex with love, was peer pressured, and had such low self-esteem that if a cute guy asked me out I did (even if I didn't really like him). The second time I was raped was when I was 18...he was a supposed "friend" who was dating a female friend of mine. We were at a party together, both drunk, and when I went home he followed me, raped me, and I stayed in my bedroom for a solid week...crying and wondering why this kept happening to me. Finally, a friend found me, asked me what was wrong and I told him. There was this mock "trial" where the guy who raped me, the guy i told, and the rapist's gf and myself were all present. Of course he denied it, so no one believed me. The third time I was raped was just a few months later. He was another "supposed friend" who was also an alcoholic (of the mean variety). Knowing that no one would believe me cause they didnt before, I didn't even bother telling anyone. This same man raped me again when I was 38 (just last year). I was homeless and I thought this guy was sober, because a few years after he raped me the first time he became sober and went to everyone he hurt (including me) and apologized, so we became sort of friends again. So, I had no where else to live so I moved in with him. Made it clear from the get go that I didn't want anything but a roomate relationship with him. He raped me for two solid weeks...finally I found a domestic abuse shelter to go to. My fifth rape was a drug dealer who I was acquaintances with his sister. I invited him and a couple of his friends over to my house to get stoned with (I quit pot a year ago). So, I was drunk and stoned and he shoved coke down my throat and raped me. I had never done any other drug but marijuana. I kept blacking out and coming to. When I woke up the next morning I thought I dreamt the rape (the guy and his friends were gone) until I went to get out of bed and was bruised and sore from head to toe. I didn't tell my bf about it til a week afterwards because I didn't think he'd believe me that I was raped. He got mad at me because I wouldn't press charges against the guy. I was too scared to because he was a drug dealer and would probably have killed me if I did. So, yea, that's my rape stories. I still have major issues because of them, it's hard for me to trust men, I don't orgasm ever, and get flashbacks.
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