I've been lucky thus far this time around.... when I was in high school, the first time I was raped, there were some people who gave me shit... honestly, mostly girls.

I don't know if it's just a male thing... some people are just totally unable to understand, comprehend, whatever... this is an ugly thing, and some people can't handle that kind of ugly. Don't take it personally. And if he's going to be like this, let him. Maybe one day his head won't be so happy planted in his tush, and he'll get over whatever is wrong with him at this point.

Don't stress about all of the unknowns with this... I know that sounds rediculously stupid - I'm an obsessive stressball myself - but really, there is nothing you can do about it, short of a face to face confrontation. And to do that with someone who isn't being a particularly good friend just sounds like a not so hot idea.

Sorry you're going through this, hun

thanks...he's done stuff like this in the past (avoiding emotional stuff) so I probably shouldn't have trusted him. I jsut felt like I needed to get it off my chest with him for some reason. Any time I've written something emotional to him he avoids me then talks to me about it like a month later when he knows it's not still raw or something.

I have gotten bad reactions, especially because on top of being abused I self injure. What I've done is sat people down and told them flat out, look, if you're gonna drag me down, get out of my life, because I've worked too hard to get where I am.

Yet I've also had guys be absolutely wonderful about it. And it may just be that he doesn't know how to talk to you about it and he worries about doing it the "wrong" way and so avoids it altogether

i've had bad reactions and even the instance of telling about SA and then the guy I told developed a way to do the same thing but in a different approach. some men are just sick and you can't be too careful in who you tell what. Hopefully the next person you tell will be more understanding!

I have had mixed reactions from guys. One guy felt guilty that it happened. Others found a way to abuse me again. You have to be careful and trust your instincts, but you can still get hurt.

Men dont know what to do or say - if he did not offer support he is not much of a friend anyway - those who will be true friends will be there for you. After being raped you soon feind out who your friends are cos most of them are off in a flash.... dont punish yourself for this - they are confused & scared as to how to deal with this... it's not you they are afraid of. This person may come back to you - if not allow others here to be your friend & support you the way a real friend should. xx

If you know his pattern is to wait a while and then talk about it, try to put it on a back burner. It is very possible that your instinct to tell was right. Wait and see.
Even if he reacts badly, it just means that he lacks the means to support you. You didn't do anything wrong at any time, and telling can in itself be therapeutic. So you may get some benefit anyway, just by telling him.