So I was raped almost a year ago, and I have never talked to a professional. I know that I have several issues because of this..but this question is different than those...I am constantly thinking about my assailant/rapist and the incident itself. Not anything in particular, just little things. Like I always wonder if he is able to go on living his life like nothing ever happened, or if he thinks about it and it affects his day to day life as much as it does mine? The incident has completely broken my spirit, and pretty much taken away everything that makes me, me...and makes me happy. So my question is: Am I completely disturbed, or is there something wrong with me because I was curious about his life...and I decided to look him up on facebook. I found him!, and it seems like he has a normal life. I can't help but feeling cheated that he stole my life from me and is now leading a normal happy one of his own. It makes me so sad, and sometimes I get almost furious about it. Why does he get to live like nothing happened and I am now a broken, barely functioning individual. I feel so cheated. And hurt. I still can't even fully admit that the incident happened. How am I supposed to accept it and move on. It is part of me now, and I feel like everyone can see that, even though they have no idea that anything happened to me. I don't know what to feel or what to do. I hate him! Even worse I hate myself! I let this happen, and I let it get this bad, and now I feel like it's too late to do anything. I'm scared and I'm alone, and I can' t do it any more.
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