when you beat me, i fought you. when you raped me, i fought you. when you approached, i ran. when you disciplined me, i didn't understand. the pain, the hurt, the feelings were all too much. you did indeed "break me in" good, for when you beat me, i took it. when you raped me, i allowed it. when you approached, i froze. when you disciplined me, i was sorry. once i learned to obey, i changed. somewhere along the way, i lost me. my needs didn't matter. my feelings were never shown. my life, my existence was YOU, and only you. my routine went from serving to pleasing, but that is just how i changed. i was still serving you, but now there was more. i WANTED to please you. i LONGED for your touch. so now, when you beat me, i accept it. when you rape me, it's what i'm for. when you approach, i melt. when you discipline me, i long to learn from my mistake. i have changed, in every way possible. but in knowing this, why don't i wish to change back?
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