Last night i went out with some friends and i think i got my drink spiked. I am not 100% sure but considering i didn't drink that much i hardly remember anything so i think it must have been. I ended up going home with a boy (i don't think he was the person that spiked my drink), i do not know how we got there or how we ended up in the bedroom but but i just have flashback memories of being there. At the time I think i was happy to kiss him but i would never usually do anything else, If i had not been spiked I would not even have kissed let alone go to his as I have a boyfriend. I remember him trying to take of my knickers and I was saying 'no' but I dont think i was saying it in a firm enough way. Im not sure now if this is a memory or just what I think happened but i think he did it anyway untill after a few seconds i pushed him off when i realised what was happening. I think my slow reaction was due to being so 'out of it'. Now i feel that i should have been more forcefull when i said no and quicker to react and that i just let it happen. Also when i go out and have a few drinks im quite a flirt and get lots of attention but i never do anything as I have a boyfriend, but now I kind of feel that I've got whats coming to me and that it's my own fault. Im just confused as to whether it is my own fault or not as i told a friend today and he suggested that it was rape. Also do I tell my boyfriend and my mum as I am away at university and I don't want her to worry about me or my boyfriend to be cross or not see me in the same way anymore. I know it doesn't seem very dramatic but im just feeling really confused and upset about it and I keep crying when i think about it. Any advice would be really appreciated. Thankyou.
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