Rape Support Group

If you or someone you know has been the victim of rape, this is the place to find support and get advice. If you want, discuss your experience, share your feelings, and meet others going through a similar situation.

1 Online
1 Online

Is it rape if it's your own husband?

Shortly after we got married, we were in honeymoon stage and having sex everyday, but one night I said no, so we went to sleep (at least I did)< and I woke up to him rolling me over, climbing on top of me and having intercourse with me.
I didn't like that, I had said no... but I was 23, and I thought, well, he is my husband, so I guess it's ok.

So I had convinced myself that it was okay

Another time I was sitting on the edge of the bed after a shower with just a t-shirt on, and my husband got out of the shower and we had been arguing earlier and were still mad at each other, so he got out of the shower and came to me on the bed saying to LAY DOWN so he could have sex with me and I said NO. I was mad at him, I didn't want to have sex.. So he went to grab my legs and I crossed them, so he tried to pull them apart and I held them crossed tighter and then I laughed and he got so mad took his fist and hit my leg really hard, spread my legs, pushed me back on the bed and had sex with me while I was crying.

Is it rape? I'm so confused.

Replies

drbeaker
drbeaker

Yes, sad to say but it is rape. No means no, married or not.
deleted_user
deleted_user

Yes. Marriage does not change the meaning of no. I'm sorry this happened to you. Have you thought of seeking help and/or getting out of the marriage?
ShatteredMirror
ShatteredMirror

I guess it would be the same as date rape. I just am in denial sort of, I don't know..... I feel lost, shamed, guilty... really depressed.
drbeaker
drbeaker

You've nothing to feel ashamed or guilty about in this. It wasn't your fault. Seeing a counsellor and talking about it can really help.

I do hope you're able to get the support you need.
deleted_user
deleted_user

Yes It is rape no means no and add in the violence domestic abuse adn rape . ru safe now ? You deserve better .
Community Leadermideyebrow
mideyebrow

Yes, it is rape. And drbeaker is right, no means no, all the time.
ShatteredMirror
ShatteredMirror

Now what do I do? I just don't know what to do..what to think..
ShatteredMirror
ShatteredMirror

I'm so confused I don't really know how to feel. Mostly feel ashamed. Don't really want to be around people at all. Depressed. I just keep thinking Gosh I was so stupid, in denial, should have left him, WHY did I stay.. that means I just let him do this to me, which means it's my fault.
deleted_user
deleted_user

Hey yes it is rape my husband raped me it's not your fault don't blame yourself it's his. If u ever wanna talk just message me take care
deleted_user
deleted_user

Yes it is. Its good to figure that out ow thoughthen later. My mom was raped by her first husband and she didnt know until years and years later than rape is still rape. drbeakeris right. married or not no means no. it's heartbreaking. im so sorry that happened to you.
deleted_user
deleted_user

My first wife used to associate sex with violence and pain.
deleted_user
deleted_user

Its rape. I was raped several times by my ex. He is also my children's father and is very controlling. I'm here if u need to talk. I understand where u are coming from
deleted_user
deleted_user

My husband did it to me while I was taking Ambien 5 years ago. I don't think I have ever recovered. We are still married and he doesn't do that anymore. ALthough, he does take it even though he knows I am not reciprocating.

I am sorry for you. I hope you can find strength and comfort.
deleted_user
deleted_user

yes it was. am so sorry for you. love is kind and mutual. never violent and selfish. he's sick, worse. oh man. it was so wrong. hope you get the healing and help you need.
Gidzmo
Gidzmo

What happened to you is known as spousal rape. In any case, no still means no.