I was very drunk at a party one night... phenomenally drunk. But not so drunk that I don't remember certain things. I remember one friend of mine continuously coming onto me and trying to get me to go home with him. Another friend, who's like a big brother, took me under his wing and said I could crash at his place so I didn't have to take the train home drunk and so I didn't have to go home with said guy trying to sleep with me. I took him at his word and we started walking home...me and four guy friends. Two that I trusted very much (one of which was the one who's place I was gonna crash at), one I thought I trusted, and the one that was still trying to convince me to go home with him. I remember having trouble walking and it became pretty clear I wasn't gonna make the walk home so they started to flag down a cab. Bob (I'll call him...he was the one I thought I trusted) put me in the cab and got in after me. I was later told by one of the two guys I trusted very much (I'll call him Chris) that he had tried to get in two and that there was plenty of room but Bob had said "no room" and shut the door in his face. I told Bob I was crashing at Rick's place (we'll call him Rick) and he said...yeah sure...but we passed Rick's place and I didn't know where I was going and he said "you're coming to mine". He told me I could have his bed and he'd sleep on the couch. He put me in his room and then got in bed next to me and started kissing me. I told him no and that I was confused and then I stole away to the bathroom where I locked the door and got my phone out of my bag. I called Chris and told him that Bob was coming onto me and I was really really drunk and confused and scared. Chris asked where Bob lived and I said I didn't know. Somehow I ended back in Bob's bedroom and Chris called me back and Bob took my phone. Chris told me later that he had said to Bob "she's scared what is going on over there" and that Bob had responded "nothing...stop calling". He took my phone away. The rest gets sort of vague. I remember saying no. I remember crying and he held me and said "it's ok it's ok". He said he'd go to the couch but never did. I remember sex. I vaguely remember him giving me more to drink. when I came to the next morning I was sore and hung over to shit. I found my phone, it had been turned off. There were about a dozen missed calls from Chris and Rick. I lumbered out the door...it was like 6 in the morning...I took a cab to Rick's and felt guilty about waking him up in the morning so I fell asleep on the sidewalk out front of his place. Rick and Chris came out to find me. Chris was pissed. He said He trusted Bob, that he and Rick had spent the night trying to find out where Bob's new apartment was so they could come get me. He told me that it was rape. Was it? I've come out of it undamaged. I don't understand...what happened...was it rape?
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