as i said in my first topic im prone to this sort of crap. i remember when brother used to do things to me. my memory is pretty vague right now, mostly cause i was pretty young, about 8 or 9 if not younger. my brother then introduced to my cousin about what he does. so my cousin then tried, at first they tried to do it together a long time ago. my brother by the way would only do it in the summer when he watched me when my mom went to work. well eventually my brother didnt come back for a while, and i would visit my aunt (who was like my best friend at the time) and my cousin started it again when every one was a sleep an what not. he told me if i told anyone he woud pretty much kill me, burry me in his back yard an know one would find out. well my grammy lived at there house at one time. and i visit my grammy all the time. (she\'s like the only person that cares about me) i didnt want my cousin to get in the way of me being able to see my gram, she would think i was mad at her or something an i couldnt tell her whats wrong. i remember when my gram wasnt there an i was visiting my aunt, my cousin didnt seem like he was about to do anything, well during a commercial of soom cartoon he was watching he came an pretty much fondled me all over, i told him to stop and he did. and i thought i felt pretty strong like he was scared of me. well i went to watch some tv. whne he left and he came back, i felt like everything was okay until he got up and sat on me, i tried to get away whitch just got me in an uncomfortable position. he said the only way he\'ll let me go is if i had sex with him. i said no! he said why, i said your my cousin and your 20 something and im only like 14 or something, he said so. and i was like so, no! well i tried to con him, i said if you put me in a better position i will let you so he loosened his arms an i tried to run, the dog got in the way of us and bit my leg, and i ran to my room and shut the door. but i was scared, and i went into my aunts room to sleep there cause i felt safe, even though that probably makes me feel like a baby. eventually i told a cop at my school. after a while my aunt decided to hate me or something, and none of my family believes me. and that hurts, a lot. i feel alone like every one is against me. i dont knwo what to do a lot of times i think about suicide just cause i cant take it.
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