Okay... I want to move past the rape, I want to move past all that has happened in my life. I want to be strong, I want to be the one women come to to draw some strength from, and I just want to let all this go. But... he's always in my head, whispering to me, threatening me, scaring me, controling me... he is ALWAYS there! Physically he's nowhere near me, I know his hands aren't really touching me, his breath isn't really on my face, he's NOT REALLY HERE.... but then why can I feel it so strongly, why does it seem so real? I want to let it go... I am studying to be a rape victim's advocate, and my therapist keeps telling me that I must move past this in order to do that. She says that sooner or later I will come across a case that closely resembles mine, and if I haven't dealt with it, I will be consumed by it and I'll get lost in myself. I don't want that to happen, I want to be able to help others. SO HOW DO I GET HIM OUT OF MY HEAD?!?!?! I'm so lost.
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