Hello
I often have dreams of killing myself and tried several times when I was a teenager having flashbacks. You really need to think about what you could live with most. Imagine a life wondering how you would feel if you did have an abortion or kept it or gave it up. I was a child of rape and my mother loved me very much and I felt very loved. My mum was raped by her husband of 20 years and was physically and emotionally abused by him and had 3 other children by rape from him so this may be different for you.
I have never been pregnant so tell me to shut up if you don't agree with anything I say.
Hope this helps

okay girl, first BREATHE. you are in a tough position for sure and I can imagine how these questions are just swimming around in your hear right now. I've not been in anything like your spot, but I do care about you and what you are facing and want you to know that there is support here for you and that you WILL be able to sort this situation out, piece by piece. I have read posts from other moms who have concieved this way and gone on to have the baby and love it dearly and KNOW that they made the right decision. Your ex acted on the evil in his heart and hurt you. That's about him, not you. People are screwed up, but God doesn't make mistakes. My opinion is that if God allows you to keep this baby, you are meant to have it. I can't tell you what to do, like your friend says, it's your decision. Your past history will play in too. You can test for downs by a certain date. If you were my daughter, I would advise going after things step by step. stabilize your job first, or find a new one. Get a new housemate so you won't lose your home. TALK on this site, and find some trained counseling too (we may offer love and support, but really we don't know enough to offer). Then you can come to terms with what has happened. I think that once you begin to stabilize in these areas you will find you are better equipped to make the decision about baby that you need to make. And may you will miscarry during that time. This is a really hard season of your life. But there is hope and joy and happiness in your future. Remember that when you are overwhelmed by current conditions. Better days are ahead. Message me if you need to, I try to get on every day. And keep BREATHING! with love, Jeanie

i was raped by my ex and got a 3yr old now. i thought all the things that u thinkin now. but i chose to ave her. i dont regret having her she is my world. but therr r times wen i look at her n cry to myself about how she came into the world.xx

I think mumhurts put all my thoughts down first before I could. You can deal with this in bits but in one whole lump its too much. Taking away all the fear and pain of that night and, taking into account how much you will love your baby, can you afford to be a single mum right now? You are right when you say it is not the baby's fault but that being said it is not your fault there is a potential baby right now. I have never been in this position as such but I did abort once when I was 17. It wasn't a product of a rape but it was part of my fall out when I was using sex as a weapon. After a lot of soul searching I decided I couldn't be a good mum at 17 especially not knowing who it's father was. Now, I have been unable to carry to any sort of viable stage since and, I have in my darkest times wondered if I made the right decision but I stand by it because I made the right decision for who I was and where I was at the time. You have to follow your gut on this one I have to say and although I can offer you lots of support and online hugs I can't make this decision for you.

What a nightmare come true. First of all, I encourage you to read my initial post of my rape experience. I was already 6 weeks pregnant when the rape occurred. My fiance' whom was my soul mate and I loved with all my heart could not deal with the rape. After three months of trying, we went our separate ways. He wanted me to abort due to the trauma of the rape and the possible effects on the baby. i refused. I had that baby. Like you, I really had no where to go. My mother was totally against my going thru with the pregnancy. I had so much going on, I didn't know where to turn, and top add the icing to the cake, I had lived thru the rape, but I had to live with the only man I ever loved (or ever will........... that was 23 years ago and I've never married) having left me when I needed him most.

So............ I had no where to go, no one to rely on, no one but myself. Somehow thru this haze of being the victim of a violent rape, my fiance leaving me, and the fact that I was pregnant, I had to find my way. I look back now and wonder how in the world I did it.......... but I did. I often say that unborn child more or less saved my life. I knew that I had to make a home, etc.,. for that child. Otherwise, I might not have found the strength to go on. That unborn child depended on me and I focused on that. If you want to know the things I went thru and how I somehow came thru it all, please feel free to message me as right now, how I did it, what I did, etc., is not coming to me as to what I did first, etc. I'm in a rush but I saw this had felt compelled to respond.

You will love that baby no matter who the father is because you know what.......... that baby will be YOURS! No later divorces, custody battles, etc. YOURS! YOUR CHILD! YOUR CHILD to bring into this world and nurture.

My aunt who is now in her 80's had a child as a result of a rape. You gotta figure......... that was probably like in the 1940's. Can you imagine? She was raped by her older sister's husband. She was only 15. She was sent to an unwed's mother home (do they still have those??). Anyway, she raised that baby. When he was three, she met the most wonderful man and married (I think they just celebrated their 60th anniversary). That man raised that baby as his own, but deep down, my aunt shares with me that baby was always HERS, but she had his support and his guidance for her son and he was never treated any differently from the son they had together several years later.

You never know where your life's path will take you, who you will meet, etc. But you gotta do what's right for you and what's in your heart. The only way to find out what's in your heart right now is to focus on it. You'll find the answers........... they are there, but your friend is right, the final choice is yours.

If you want to know how I did it being single, no where to go, no support system, etc., i will be glad to share with you.............. just send me a message.

When I read your thread all I can think of is faith and hope. Maybe being older does that to you in life. I believe you have to have faith and hope. Faith that God can and will because of His love for you stand with you through all of this. Faith that God can heal you from the pain of being raped. Faith that God can give you love for this child who is just as much yours as the rapist. Faith that God can turn peoples heart to be there for you if you choose to keep this child. Faith that God has a future for you and this child. I know you are going through a rough time and all the pressure in the world is on you that you are even at the point of thinking that death (ending it all) would be the answer but I'm here to tell you your life has value and maybe things are rough right now but that does not mean all your tomorrow's will be. God bless, please never give up!