i saw him saturday morning...the first time in almost 5 months since it happened...and since then i have spent mostof my time in bed...which is prob where im gonna go back to after i get off here...i saw him at a gas station...he looked at me and just smirked...i wanted to puke...i couldnt even get gas i just drove straight home...stayed in the shower til the water went cold...and went to bed....not much sleeping...just more like hiding...i felt like i could do this even with some doubt til i saw him and now all i wanna do is disappear...i cant sleep because he's there...when i saw him it was like it happened all over again...it scared me...i know i need to call a therapist but everytime i do i chicken out...i feel like such a loser...i think im just gonna go back to bed...
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