This is a bit hard for me to post due to i do not speak of such things, i have questions but this is hard for me. i am 35 years old and yesterday was my first time having sex willingly. i am not sure but i think this is next statement this community will understand, i needed to find out if i could or would feel anything. You see my attack was when i was 9 and then he got out of jail and again at 16...(thats all i can say right now, sorry). All this time up until yesterday i would never allow any human to touch me. During these past months, something has been changing in me and i need to know if i am real (sorry not nuts promise...well). i have not been allowed to speak of what happened to me, nor have been taught of sex. All i have ever thought it was was it's dirty and only know rape and torture. Grant it i would think about somethings like a kiss and what it's like to be hugged. That kind of thing but when and if i dated i would drop them the moment they wanted to touch me (which was usually the next date), so my longest "relationship" is three days. May I ask my questions here or should I not? Please forgive me if I have offended anyone here. I just want to know if I am off.
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