since I left my husband, I have been on an emotional rollercoaster. I have been exercising, getting my hair done, going out whenever I want to, trying to treat myself. I was able to hide everything down inside after my first 2 attacks, but this time, I just feel so out of control. The feelings just wash over me, and Im so not used to it. I cant tell anyone. Im too ashamed, Ive never been able to open up and talk about ME. I dont know how. But Im afraid I cant deal with this on my own, and telling scares the hell out of me. I dont know what to do. Part of me is scared that if i do talk, I wont be able to hide it anymore. Another part just wants it out so badly. Im so confused and scared anymore. I dont know what to do. Ive looked into some places around here for counceling, but I have no privacy to call, and I dont know if I actually could. I dont have any way to get there, and asking for a ride would mean explaining WHY I need to go. Especially if it is a a rape crisis center. I have tried the online thing, but even on the computer I have to be really careful, my mom is super nosey, and I can only be on for about 20 mins at a time without her coming over and wanting to know what Im doing. It seems impossible to get any help. Any advise, ideas, anything would be appreciated. i dont like this feeling of being cornered
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