I was raped 8 and a half months back now and was with my boyfriend for 2 weeks when it happened. I stayed with him because i felt that i needed protecting the thing is i hate the thought of him touching my skin as i feel so dirty and i feel like he will get infected, to try and stop this feeling i often drink bleach in order to feel clean inside. I really love my bf as he's been my rock i don't know if i could put up with my gf carrying a monsters baby. I mean counselling helps slightly but i can't open up, i feel like i can't trust anybody. I also feel very ashamed and embarrased.
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