I have been with my boyfriend for about 2 years and 6 months and I was attacked - (i still can't use the other word) over 3 years ago on my way to work. I was 16 years old and it was a sunday morning, I decided to walk through the park as it was a nice day. I went through loads of police investigations and forensic testing but they never caught him. I hadn't lost my virginity before that and since then whenever i'm with my boyfriend i just feel so tense. i can't relax. i know he wouldn't hurt me and he's very understanding (I have told him) We cannot ever have an intimate relationship because of this and I sometimes try to force myself because I'm scared I'll lose him but i just end up screaming in pain as I've tensed up so much. Is there anyone who can help me and ive advice just to get back to a normal life and be able to enjoy being around my boyfriend. i love him so much but i just can't express it in the way that he would like to. It is frustrating for both of us. I have been to my GP many times and she just wants to put me on anti-depressants. I'm 19 years old and I feel i'm missing out on things just because of this. I am quite strong most of the time and am determined not to let this person ruin my life as then he would have won. I can't talk to anyone about this as although my family have been supportive I know it hurts them and I still feel ashamed (i know I shouldn't) It wasn't my fault I just do. I was just wondering if anyone else has been in a similar position and if so how did they get through it?
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