Rape Support Group
If you or someone you know has been the victim of rape, this is the place to find support and get advice. If you want, discuss your experience, share your feelings, and meet others going through a similar situation.
About three weeks ago my daughters father came and got her for a couple of hours. When he brought her home he wanted to wait until she was asleep before he left. I tried several times to get him to leave. ( My fiance new that he came and got her) After my daughter fell asleep he started bothering me and I kept telling him to stop. He than got up and walked out of the room 9 I thought he was leaving. I walked into my living room to lock the door. When I reached for the handle I realized that he was right behind me. He wouldnt leave me alone. When I asked him where he was at he said he was in the bathroom putting a condom on. Because he knew I wouldnt give in and because I needed to get what I deserved. After he did what he wanted to do. I was scared and wasnt really sure as to how to tell my fiance that my daughters father raped me but had a condom on. Afterall who would believe that someone that I had a kid with was capable of rape.
When I finally told my fiance, I didnt tell him the truth I told him I had told him no two times and than gave in, he takes it as me cheating on him. I am not sure as to how to tell him the truth or if I should leave it the way it is. It is very hard for me to sleep at night because when I close my eyes it is like it is happening all over again.
If anyone has any advice please tell me.
I dont want to lose my fiance.
When I finally told my fiance, I didnt tell him the truth I told him I had told him no two times and than gave in, he takes it as me cheating on him. I am not sure as to how to tell him the truth or if I should leave it the way it is. It is very hard for me to sleep at night because when I close my eyes it is like it is happening all over again.
If anyone has any advice please tell me.
I dont want to lose my fiance.
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theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
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I'm trying to exercise daily. I was doing fairly well until I sprained my ankle 2 weeks ago but now I'm getting back on the horse. Today I walked over a mile with my arm weights that are about 22lbs total. I was out of shape and it was hard on my arms. I also did my 30 situps. I'm also going to drink a lot of water and try to eat healthy. I do tend to have a sweet tooth but I'm cutting...
Take care of yourself.
Veronica
Good luck and my thoughts are with you.
In the meantime take care of yourself
take care
Deb
if your fiance doesn't get that... that is really sad. and i'm sorry.
you did NOT cheat on him. your daughter's father is scum and i hope he doesn't get to keep seeing your daughter.
i'm so sorry this happened to you.
i can give you some websites for family/supporters of rape survivors, maybe your fiance could take a look at them and get some actual information about what rape is.
i'm with you. message me if you want the websites.
Your fiance is going to be confused about your changing story. You need to explain to him a couple things. You didn't think anyone would believe you. You are afraid deep down to admit that you were raped because that raises a whole lot of other issues - as Phoenix said, access to your child, the fact that you will have to keep seeing him, and the reaction of your fiance.
Tell him you tried to sweep it under the rug by acting like you were ok with it. But you are not, you are suffering, and you need to tell him the truth, you need to be heard and believed, and you need yo take steps to make yourself safe in future, as well as your daughter.
Be prepared that he may not immediately react the way you need and expect and give it time. Have another source of support like a friend or a rape counseling line just in case.
Good luck.
He told me that something seemed off when I told him that I ended up giving in and something told him that I wasnt telling him the whole story. He also told me that I needed to find someone to talk to and that he would be here for me.
Thank you all for your advice. It really did help.
I'm proud of you. good work.