I used to see horror stories on the news and I'd think things that horrible would never happen to me. I would also catch myself daydreaming in class, how I would handle an ugly situation. I'd imagine dodging bullets, grabbing a gun out of someones hands' and then becoming the offense. Recently, I found out how exactly I would handle a sticky situation. I was walking from my car back to my apartment; I remember feeling a hand on my face and a mans voice telling me to "Shut the fuck up." My immediate reaction was to laugh, I had convinced myself that it was a joke, that it was one of my friends from school trying to be funny. I spun around quickly and was staring at a strange mans face and a gun. I had bought one of those pepperspray keychains and I quickly grabbed it. I remember weighing my options and figured pepperspraying a man with a gun to my face wouldn't end well. He then walked me to his car and threw me in the passengers seat, then jumped into the drivers seat and told me to "Start sucking." When he decided oral sex wasn't going to be enough for him, he drove me to a vacant field and knocked his rocks off. As he was driving me to that field, I remember wondering how my obituary was going to sound and who was going to tell my family. He then drove me back to my apartment and made me give him all the money I had on me. ($40) Before he left he said if I went to the cops he knew where I lived and he'd take care of me. Immediately, I called my mom and told my roommate, my roommate took me to the ER and I filed a police report. Now, I am completely terrified, my roommate has no where to go and I'm afraid to let her stay at the apartment alone and I'm afraid to be alone, as well. I haven't been sleeping well if at all for the last month. I keep replaying everything in my head and what I should have or could have done, the "what if's" are ruining me. How do I get them out of my head?
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