If you or someone you know has been the victim of rape, this is the place to find support and get advice. If you want, discuss your experience, share your feelings, and meet others going through a similar situation.
So I know that what happened to me wasn't technically rape...at least I don't consider it to be that way. But I feel like it's really not a big deal at all, and I fear that my approaching it this way has negative side effects for my emotional well-being. Here's the story.
I was 15 and went to Orlando to stay with some friends for 10 days. The house I stayed at belonged to my guy friend there in his 20s, but his friends also in their 20s had an apt. right down the street. I spent all the nights at one of these two places. A group of 6 guys or so hung out all the time. I was 15 and stupid, played drinking games with them, etc. One guy took a liking to me (I admit, I found him attractive, but never acted on it). Anyway, from the start he wanted to sleep with me. I kept telling him no (I hadn't slept with anyone at this point, and I was scared to, mostly because of the possibility of pregnancy). Reluctantly I agreed (i think?) to give him a hand job despite my discomfort with the whole situation. He kept trying for sex and settling for less during my entire stay.
I went back to Orlando when I was 16 for halloween. He was at the party I went to the first night there...sitting next to a handgun no less. Anyway, welcomed me back with open arms, etc. I drank to the point that I got sick that night. When the group of us (men & women, all over 20 but me) went back to our hotel room, we decided to go swimming...at like 3 am. It made me sober at least. I went to take a hot shower afterwards. He came in the shower with me after I had started it. I think his handgun was in a pile on the floor of his clothes, but I don't really remember. He wanted me to go down on him, pushed me down there, but I didn't really do anything. So he turned me around and tried to have sex with me. I said something like I didn't know if it was a good idea, but didn't say much more than that. Anyway, he didn't get too far into things before giving up out of frustration. 15 min later he went and slept with my closest friend at the time, in her late 20s. He's now married to her with 2 children....
So because the act was never "completed" what do I even consider this? I feel like it's not a big deal because I wasn't terrified. I don't think my life was in any serious danger. I knew the man. I don't know, it just doesn't seem like something all too important to me.
If it happened to someone else, I would be sympathetic towards them, but I'm not towards myself. I just consider it something that happens in life.