If you or someone you know has been the victim of rape, this is the place to find support and get advice. If you want, discuss your experience, share your feelings, and meet others going through a similar situation.
when i was little i was raped by a family member and a family friend. i've held it in my entire life, never letting anyone know because of the ashame i have, the anger that i had, and the biggest of them all..the guilt. i eventually broke down and told it all to my boyfriend, but only because he had a lot of questions for me that didnt make sense to him.. my boyfriend is a very playful man (he is def not a man to ever hurt me..i mean hes clumsy but would never hurt me ever), and i love to mess around to. we play fight, wrestle and so forth, however.. when he held me down and i began to say stop (thinking i was just playing around, trying to get him to stop tickling me or whatever) and he didnt, i would begin to freak out.. crying shaking and the first thought would be getting hurt again. so finally after many times of freaking out and him not getting any answers.. i broke down and explained everything. so he would try to help, and understand that i cant take being held down like that.. however the other day. he began to push me down on the bed and hold me down trying to be cute and cuddly and romantic but it rubbed me the wrong way i began to freak out and he wouldnt stop.. not thinking about what had happened to me. so he got mad at me for it and i was crying and upset. i eventually had to remind him and he appologized quickly and was like its frustrating for me too im sorry and i wouldnt ever hurt you i never have.. its hard for us. i dont know what to do. i know he will never hurt me but its just like how can i ever get over the fact that this has happened to me.. and be ok with playing around again? my boyfriend suggested me talking to someone, going on line and finding someone i could talk to that this has happened to or gone throught this.. hopefully someone can. i just want to know how can my boyfriend and i get over this? it doesnt destroy us in the least bit trust me. but we just want to help eachother understand.. and get over this..
..anyone have any advice? or something we can try? help!!