If you or someone you know has been the victim of rape, this is the place to find support and get advice. If you want, discuss your experience, share your feelings, and meet others going through a similar situation.
I was raped 16 years ago, by my brothers best friend, and I guess you could say, he was mine, too, at the time. His father grew up with my mom. His mom and stepfather were really good friends of my parents.
I just don't know what to do anymore. I thought I had let it all go. Thought I had buried deep within myself and was okay with it all. But, facts are on the 15 yr "anniversary" of it all, I was on the internet. Not really doing anything or paying attention when I noticed I had looked him up under the whole sexual offender thing.
It's then I realized I needed help. I had buried my problems for so many years, I "forgot" about it all together, I guess you could say. I became so depressed at that point, I did nothing. I got up in the mornings, went to work, came home, and "planted" myself in my chair and didn't move the rest of the night. I did this for about 2 months, before I finally went to the doctor to get on anti depressents.
I'm still on them, and they help. But, it's just a band aid. What I really need is someone to talk to. I need to let out my anger, hurt, resentment, frustration, all of it. I need someone to listen. I need someone to understand. I just need to talk to someone who will listen.
I don't know what else to do. I want to let this all go. I want to be off the meds. I want to be truly happy with life, for once in I don't know how long.
There are so many other things in my life that has added to my depression, but I feel the rape is at the core of it all.
I'm hoping maybe I, too, can help someone else, in this healing process everyone deserves. I know I hate feeling like this. I don't wish it on anyone. My hopes are I can help someone else heal, as I heal.