I've never joined a support group, or asked for advice online, but I'm going to give it a shot. I'm 32 years old and a week ago I was date raped by a guy I had been seeing for 6 months. We were both drinking too much, he pinned me down and very brutally raped me in the anus. I was at a party, I screamed at the top of my lungs but supposedly no one heard me. One of my good friends was there, it was actually her boyfriends brother who I was dating. After it happened I came out of the room and just told her that he was a f'ing a-hole, but didn't tell her what happened. I told my mom and my sister a couple days later and they urged me to go to the hospital and file a police report, which I did. The police contacted him, his brother, and my friend on Friday, but I have no idea what they said to them. On Friday I got emails from my girlfriend asking what happened but I didn't respond. She also left me a voicemail asking me to call her back which I didn't. I also got a call from HIM on Friday, but he didn't leave a message. Today he called twice, the first time no message, the second time he left a message saying he wanted me to call him because he had no idea what he did or said but he was really sorry for whatever it was and he feels bad. The hardest part for me right now is that I had feelings for him, I trusted him. I don't know how to react to his phone call. I don't plan on calling him back but I don't know what I'm supposed to do. I tried calling the police department to see how to handle it and they just told me to call my local police to report that he was calling me, which I haven't done, and don't really plan on doing. Or should I? I feel bad for not telling my friend what happened, but I didn't want what I say to her to influence how they respond to the police when they were questioned. All I can do is cry. I don't know how to handle all this. I stayed with my mom all weekend because I didn't want to be alone and now I'm back home with my daughter. Should I talk to my girlfriend about it? Should I answer the phone when HE calls me? Should I just wait until the investigators call me to let me know what's going on? I have no clue what I'm supposed to be doing here. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
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