I told my boyfriend today about my rape. We were getting serious, and he's been talking about marriage, so I felt like I owed it to him to tell him. So I did. He cried. He got angry. And he said he needed time. Now I haven't heard from him all day and it's eating me up inside. I love him. I want him to be the one. But how can that be, if he can't accept something so big in my life? I don't know, I am in so much pain. It hurts almost as much as the rape. I know he loves me, even after I told him. But really, how can we be together? I am so confused. I just want him to hold me and tell me that it wasn't my fault. That he still loves me. That he still wants to marry me. But I think that's all just not going to happen. I might as well get used to being alone.
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I am a rape survivor. The abuse stopped in 2010. But here recently I have found that the reprocussions have started now. I have a chance with my significant other for a real future and I am struggling. I don't feel like I am worth more than I am now. And I don't want to continue the pattern