I am so desperately trying to take back my life. I am listening to the advice from my therapist, well about most things. Trying to live a healthier life, doing things that I enjoy and bring me happiness. But I feel like everytime I try and take a step forward there are people waiting to kick me back down. I am tired of being a doormat, but don't see a way up! Just need to get away from all of this, from my life it seems. But I need to try and get some sleep so that I can make it in to work tomorrow. I am so tired of this game, trying to seem normal, when underneath there is a volcano erupting! Seems like all I do is complain any more, why can't I just let it go, and see the joy in life anymore?
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I am a rape survivor. The abuse stopped in 2010. But here recently I have found that the reprocussions have started now. I have a chance with my significant other for a real future and I am struggling. I don't feel like I am worth more than I am now. And I don't want to continue the pattern