A guy I knew raped me, and a year later my boyfriend raped me. It's hard not to think that I did something wrong to have it happen twice. Nights are never peaceful for me anymore, they are always filled with tears and shear terror, and I always have to have someone in the house with me at all times, or I tend to freak out. My current boyfriend(who is amazing by the way) is always telling me to not blame myself, but how can't I? I look in the mirror now and all I see is a disgusting girl. I feel ashamed...
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I'm trying to exercise daily. I was doing fairly well until I sprained my ankle 2 weeks ago but now I'm getting back on the horse. Today I walked over a mile with my arm weights that are about 22lbs total. I was out of shape and it was hard on my arms. I also did my 30 situps. I'm also going to drink a lot of water and try to eat healthy. I do tend to have a sweet tooth but I'm cutting...